Reunions help to reconnect family members

My family has held a family reunion nearly every July for more than 35 years. What began with a couple of tents and a couple families getting together for the Fourth of July has grown into last week’s four-day event that included games, activities, well-planned meals, the always popular talent show and campfire revelries for 41 adults and 18 children. While the time, place and numbers have changed, the reason we get together has not: to renew family ties.

With more than 60 members now, including my parents, six siblings, 20 grandchildren, 17 great-grandchildren and lots of spouses, there are always new ties to establish and many more to strengthen. Last weekend we all met the past year’s new crop of babies. From Washington there was: Ethan from Spokane, Marilyn from Moses Lake, and Logan from Vancouver. We also met Vaida from Kalispell, Mont. and Isabelle from Portland, for the first time.

While watching them play together, we got to see the personalities of the little ones who had been babies last year: Kaylee, from Moses Lake; Aidan, from Spokane; Jacob, from Colville; Keiffer, from Portland; Rocky, from Santa Rosa, Calif.; and the newest set of twins, Keith and Cory, from Albuquerque, N.M.

Throughout the reunion, great-grandchildren cemented relationships while the older cousins, many of whom have only seen each other at these yearly gatherings, got the chance to visit during early morning boat rides, lazy afternoon talks and late night conversations around the campfire. Two newly married nieces introduced their husbands and some of the first-time parents were overheard exchanging parenting tips.

While watching this interaction and overhearing these conversations, we have become aware of the same thing other families who hold regular reunions have found: there are many more benefits than just renewing family ties. Social values are being handed down, family identity is being strengthened, family traditions are being established, knowledge and milestones are being shared, and a sense of love, concern and belonging is felt by each of us as we are greeted with joyful hugs each year.

During the reunion, we benefit from the chance to communicate with and get to know one another better as we share our concerns, advice, ideas and dreams. Our relationships strengthen each year and we become aware of the fact that we do not have to face the future alone, no matter how well we are doing or what we are facing.

We find we enjoy learning about one another. This year one of our activities was to make vision boards. Three little girls showed up to take part. They cut pictures out of magazines to show what they want to bring into their lives. We were surprised when 8-year-old Greta wanted a “hot” husband and four houses. “I’m going to be really rich,” she said. But were equally as surprised when quiet little 6-year-old Mia said she wanted to be a baby doctor when she grew up.

Developing role models from within the family is another positive side effect of family reunions. On Sunday, one of my nieces, who works full time as a nurse and just had her third child, said to me, “Sometimes I get so tired, I don’t think I’ll make it – but then I think of Aunt Becky and I think that if she could do it, I can do it, too.” Becky had triplets. Many of us commented on the patience that two new fathers, Brad and Sean, showed for their babies. What great role models they are for the rest of the young men in the family.

Every year, there are some who can’t make it. This year, amazingly, only five family members missed out. My nephew Gabe has just returned from his second tour in Iraq and has been stationed in Arizona until his enlistment is up in a few months. He recently said he is looking forward to moving back to the Pacific Northwest and being able to attend our family reunions again. We will be excited to have him back.

Making a family reunion happen is not easy. It takes a lot of planning and can be a financial burden, but it is worth the commitment. Late Friday night, Gabe’s brother, 23-year-old Ben, shook the hands of everyone still up around the campfire and told them goodbye. He left before any of us were up the next morning to serve his second tour of duty in Iraq. He also left with the strength of a loving family behind him.