Insurance fraud not the only danger lurking in ads

Hats off to Idaho insurance officials for objecting to the Toyota ad campaign that shows people destroying their old cars so that they can buy brand new Toyotas.

You couldn’t turn a TV on during the holidays without seeing these commercials.

One of the ads under attack has a guy shoveling snow all over his car until it is completely buried. Then he ducks down and watches as a snowplow comes rumbling along and CUTS THE CAR IN HALF!

The Idaho Department of Insurance is right. This advertisement is outrageous and leaves viewers with a totally false impression.

As anyone who’s lived through a winter in Spokane knows, you’d be better off waiting for a UFO landing than waiting for a snowplow.

Pushing your clunker off the cliff at High Drive is a much more sensible way to get rid of it.

(Note: Wear gloves so you don’t leave prints on the bumper.)

Yep. One hearty heave-ho and you’ll be driving a shiny new Camry.

I know. There will be those who see the Idaho Department of Insurance complainers as humor-impaired nincompoops who must have their Jockey shorts jammed too far up the ol’ fanny crevice.

But I think these crusaders are on the right track. They just haven’t gone far enough.

Many of you may not be aware of what I’m about to say. But television is crawling with commercials that are just plain bad for America.

And not just the one that shows a chorus line of seemingly ordinary people singing and dancing about a certain pink diarrhea remedy.

For the past few days I’ve been keeping a log of offensive commercials that need to be removed. When my research is done I will turn the list over to the Idaho Department of Insurance for further hysteria.

For example:

•I was shocked and appalled by an animated DirecTV commercial. In it, Scooby-Doo and his gang are tormenting a cable guy tied to a chair.

Is this the message we want our children to have? That cartoon characters can use violence to settle their TV reception problems?

Even worse, this ad could lead some weak-minded individuals – Idaho insurance investigators, say – to believe the beloved Scooby-Doo is a terrorist.

•Watching a commercial for a product called the Ped Egg one morning nearly gave me the dry heaves.

The Ped Egg is a hand-held device designed to shave dead and dry skin off your feet.

The ad shows one grinning barefoot fool after another explicitly scraping away at their nasty dogs.

Then comes the scene that shows what must be a pound of dead skin flakes being dumped in a wastebasket.

If that didn’t have a high enough hurl factor, here’s the kicker: The commercial I saw was being aired repeatedly on the Food Channel.

What if someone gets the wrong idea and mistakes grandma’s used Ped Egg as a cheese grater?

As a French chef would say, “Bunion appetit!”

•The Victoria’s Secret semi-annual sale commercials send out a horrible message.

Girls and women have enough problems with “body image.” They don’t need to see ads that feature lanky, impossibly thin, gorgeous models with full lips, taut bosoms and flat, chiseled stomachs, gliding all across the TV screen in their bras and scanty panties.

I know what these sultry she-babes are thinking. Oh, yes, and it has nothing to do with selling lingerie.

They’re thinking, “Hi, Doug. Take off your pants and come join our underwear party.”

Note to the Idaho Department of Insurance: We don’t want to be too close-minded. Let’s leave the Victoria’s Secret commercials alone.