K-Fed vies for father of year

Not that it’s important to pick sides between feuding celebrities, but Kevin Federline does have his own story to tell.

Remember Federline – K-Fed, if you will – ex-husband of troubled singer Britney Spears?

Now in the midst of a tour to promote her new album “Circus,” the 27-year-old Spears has been, for the moment, receiving attention for her talent and not her outrageous behavior.

Still, no one is likely to forget her shaving her head, appearing in public without underwear, her various driving violations and subsequent court dates.

And, of course, there’s been her ongoing custody battle with Federline, 30, the rap-artist wannabe who split with Spears in 2006 after two years of marriage.

Spears has claimed that things fell apart when Federline began focusing on his rap career. But Federline, who was granted custody as Spear’s behavior spiraled downward, told People a different tale.

Federline said that he would “spend every last dime” of his settlement money to make sure that sons, Sean Preston, 3, and Jayden James, 2, were provided for.

“Not that I ignored Britney,” he said, “but my kids are always most important.”

This woman indeed is mad

Tyler Perry’s film “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” made $50 million. Donna West thinks she knows why: Perry, she’s claiming in a law suit, stole her material. West testified Tuesday that she wrote a script titled “Fantasy of a Black Woman” based on her own experiences, which she produced onstage in 1991.

Now, she said, “I can’t put my play on because the (2005 movie) stories are basically the same and nobody wants to see that again.”

‘Family Guy’ guy is No. 1

“Family Guy” and “American Dad” creator Seth MacFarlane tops Entertainment Weekly’s list of the 25 smartest people in television. “30 Rock” creator and Sarah Palin imitator Tina Fey came in second. CBS Paramount Network Entertainment chief Nancy Tellem placed third, while Oprah Winfrey finished sixth.

Head East, elderly Hanks

Tom Hanks is heading to Washington. Not to take a post in President-elect Barack Obama’s cabinet but merely to attend the inauguration – even if he doesn’t have a seat waiting for him.

“I’ll sit on the Lincoln steps and just watch it from the distance on a Jumbotron,” the 52-year-old double-Oscar winner said Tuesday. “I’ve never been to anything like that, and – finally – a guy I voted for won. That hasn’t happened most of my life.”

Sick Swayze takes his swings

Battling pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze hates the “shoddy and reckless reporting” that his him at death’s door. Swayze said Tuesday that he is responding well to treatment and that the reports amount to “emotional cruelty” at a time “when hope is so precious.”

The birthday bunch

Game show host Wink Martindale is 74. Actor-producer-director Max Baer Jr. (“The Beverly Hillbillies”) is 71. Singer-bassist Chris Hillman (The Byrds) is 64. Actor Jeff Bridges is 59. Actress Patricia Wettig is 57. Bassist Bob Griffin of The BoDeans is 49. Actress Marisa Tomei is 44. Comedian Fred Armisen (“Saturday Night Live”) is 42. Rapper Jay-Z is 39. Model/talk-show host Tyra Banks is 35.