The Slice: Tar Heels’ visit may include WCC dissing

When I see cars with out-of-state license plates parked in front of Spokane homes at this time of year, I like to picture family reunions taking place inside.

Here’s what I’ve imagined our visitors saying so far this summer.

Alabama: “Is the air here always this dry?” Alaska: “Sure gets dark early.” Arizona: “So you guys have water here?” Arkansas: “Do you have a Wal-Mart?” California: “You paid what for this house?” Colorado: “You call those mountains?” Connecticut: “Actually, Yale is not a state school.” Delaware: “No, I think toxic chemicals were invented in New Jersey.” Florida: “Ever meet anyone who grew up here?” Georgia: “So this is the famous dry heat?”

Hawaii: “We were crazy to ship our car over here.” Idaho: “Yes, I think I’ve heard all 500 ‘wide-stance’ jokes.” Illinois: “Do you get the Cubs channel?” Indiana: “It’s ‘Hoo-sier,’ not ‘Hoser.’ ” Iowa: “We came to get away from the campaigning for the 2012 caucuses.” Kansas: “And your little dog, too.” Kentucky: “A little bourbon would get this lemonade up on its feet.” Louisiana: “Lentil festival? Let the good times roll!” Maine: “Not real buggy here.” Maryland: “No, where we live isn’t like ‘The Wire.’ ”

Massachusetts: “Manito’s a nice pahk.” Michigan: “You call that a big lake?” Minnesota: “You think YOU have a lot of lakes?” Mississippi: “Seriously. Is this zero percent humidity?” Missouri: “Remember Virginia Kerr?” Montana: “WSU wouldn’t win the Big Sky.” Nebraska: “Spokane’s like a less-cool Lincoln.” Nevada: “Double or nothing.” New Hampshire: “So was everything around here built in the ’70s?” New Jersey: “You’re aware, aren’t you, that ‘The Sopranos’ was just a TV show?”

New Mexico: “Yes, Mikey, we’re part of the United States.” New York: “Well, Utica’s not really much like Manhattan.” North Carolina: “No offense, but Gonzaga’s league is a joke.” North Dakota: “So you thought that was a rough winter?” Ohio: “I figure my vote will decide the election.” Oklahoma: “Do you have a bounty on liberals here, too?” Oregon: “Is Spokane where that guy helped those ducks?” Pennsylvania: “So your cities start with ‘S’ like ours start with ‘P’?” Rhode Island: “So sprawl is the plan here?” South Carolina: “Do people ever sweat here?”

South Dakota: “Our town is not much like HBO’s ‘Deadwood.’ ” Tennessee: “Thanks for Angie Bjorklund.” Texas: “Where can I keep my extra ammo?” Utah: “No, I haven’t seen ‘Big Love.’ ” Vermont: “Um, do you have any real syrup?” Virginia: “I guess there aren’t any Civil War sites around here.” West Virginia: “No, I don’t play the banjo.” Wisconsin: “Actually, I’m sick to death of hearing about Brett Favre.” Wyoming: “Come back, Shane!”

•Today’s Slice question: Which Olympic-athlete body type do you most admire?