Don’t criticize, help your daughter organize

Q: My daughter can’t keep her kitchen clean! I’ve visited her new apartment — it’s a small efficiency that I co-signed on so she can stay in it while attending college — and the kitchen, even with the dishes done, is cluttered and grungy. She doesn’t want to hear me out when I say that she needs to clean more frequently, or she’ll soon have a bug problem. What can I do? — Disgusted Mom in Illinois

A: While clutter and grunge are an issue in any home, there’s more going on here than just a dirty kitchen. Unfortunately, I’m not a relationship counselor. I do know that your daughter is becoming more and more independent, and part of that process involves not taking parents’ advice, no matter how well-intentioned.

It sounds like your daughter does the dishes regularly, but organizing a kitchen so that it can be cleaned efficiently, especially if she has a roommate, can be difficult sometimes.

Step back and analyze the situation. Your daughter is in school, so she may not have much money for storage and shelving items for the kitchen. Canned food organizers (like step-shelves, clear plastic containers (to store flour, pasta and other bug-prone items), plastic bag holders and other storage items that can be easily installed in out-of-the-way spots are a good way to start. In addition, buy her a book on kitchen organizing and bundle it with a cookbook or two.

And after that — let her figure it out. At some point she may get tired of living in a cluttered apartment and will take steps to minimize that mess.