This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.
THE SLICE: Shedding some light on dark side of time retreat
I‘m devoting today’s column to infrequently asked questions about Daylight Saving Time, which ends Sunday at 2 a.m.
We set our clocks back one hour.
Q: Shouldn’t we have DST all year?
A: No. The whole thing is ridiculous. The duration of sunlight is entirely predictable. We should simply adjust our schedules and quit monkeying with the clock.
Q: Is the angle of the sun wicked at this latitude or what?
A: The former. I put my sunglasses away a couple of weeks ago, but I’m thinking about retrieving them.
Q: Does the phrase “fall back” have origins in Druid bacchanals where the grog flowed freely and many revelers passed out?
A: No. It comes from an expression used to describe a military maneuver that is a close cousin of retreat.
Q: Do you think guys watching ABC’s “Pushing Daisies” do so because Anna Friel, who plays “Chuck,” is cute?
A: What do you think?
Q: Did you hear that some moron yelled “Shut up and sing!” while James Taylor was telling a story Monday night?
A: Yes. Unbelievable. How embarrassing for Spokane. Hope he didn’t hear it.
Q: I understand you owed several of your esteemed Grizzly colleagues a beer after Montana beat your Northern Arizona Lumberjokes last Saturday.
A:
Q: What is the best use of the hour we gain Sunday?
A: Studies show that many of us do not get enough sleep and that this takes a toll in numerous ways.
Q: So will it be darker sooner or lighter later or darker lighter or what?
A: Exactly.
Q: So it’s OK for people who want to “protect their family” to buy huge, gas-guzzling, pollution-spewing vehicles, but motorists who have the same goal in mind can’t use studded tires without being called names?
A: Actually, both options are legal. If you want to change that, contact your elected officials.
Q: If you happen to be awake at 2 a.m. Sunday, is it like experiencing a Vulcan mind-meld?
A: It’s more like getting caught in a rift in the space-time continuum.
Q: Can you get a Daylight Saving account that comes with free checking?
A: Perhaps Pink Floyd said it best.
The time is gone
The song is over
Thought I’d something more to say
“Today’s Slice question: When the pizza arrives do you volunteer the coupon you mentioned on the phone or do you fork it over only if the delivery person requests it?