Don’t limit your future for him

Dear Annie: I am 17 years old and going to be a senior in high school in the fall. Pretty soon, I will be making some very important decisions about my future and choosing where I want to go to college. I get nearly straight A’s and could probably get into most of the places I plan to apply to. Here’s my dilemma:

My boyfriend of almost two years is already in college and wants me to go to the same school he does. His college is an OK school, but nothing spectacular, and I feel I could do a lot better. I looked at several of the colleges near his, but frankly, none of them appeals to me.

I want to be with my boyfriend because we’ve already been apart for the past year and I miss him. What should I do? – Scared of Settling for a School

Dear Scared: Please don’t put limits on your future because you miss your boyfriend. You will resent feeling forced to compromise. Although it’s difficult, many couples maintain long-distance relationships, seeing each other on vacations and breaks, and communicating often via phone and e-mail. And of course, college should be the time when you mature and develop, and it’s possible you will discover you’d rather have the freedom to play the field. You should be allowed to make that choice as well. Either way, the school you choose should be what is best for your academic potential and personal growth. Don’t let anyone talk you into doing otherwise.

Dear Annie: I’m writing to ask if you know of an organization that provides support for children of older parents.

My grandmother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and my parents had to move her into an assisted-living facility. Grandma is very bitter about this and takes it out on them. I realize part of it is her illness, but the rest is her unwillingness to adapt.

My parents have done all they can to help Grandma with the transition, bringing family photos and familiar objects, etc. There is nothing more that can be done. However, there must be some sort of support group for my parents. Thanks. – Concerned Daughter

Dear Daughter: The Alzheimer’s Association (alz.org) provides a 24-hour helpline at (800) 272-3900, as well as support groups and resources for families of those with Alzheimer’s. We hope your parents can find the help they need, and bless you for recognizing that they could use it.