The Front Porch : First date marks a momentous time for family
Parents like to celebrate their children’s firsts.
First bath. First smile. First steps. And first date?
A couple months ago our 17-year-old son began getting phone calls from a female friend. They’ve known each other since birth. Well, actually since before birth.
Caryssa’s mother and I waddled all over town while pregnant and shared heartburn woes brought on by the consumption of countless bags of barbecue potato chips, which we both craved.
So, it wasn’t unusual that Caryssa called. But when Ethan started taking the calls in his room with the door shut … and locked, I noticed.
We found out about the impending date from Caryssa’s father.
“So,” he said to my husband, “Ethan’s going to ask Caryssa out.”
“Huh?” Derek replied. Parents of teenage boys are the last to know everything.
Our son can talk for hours and not give a shred of personal information. My husband thinks he’s quite advanced for his age.
“Most men don’t master the art of talking without saying anything until they’re married,” he said. “Unless they’re politicians.”
He called me at home. “Did you know Ethan is going to ask Caryssa out on a date?”
“Huh?” I replied.
I decided to handle the situation with stealth and subtlety. The minute Ethan walked in the door, I said, “Do you have something you want to tell me?”
Every mother knows this age-old, guilt-inducing strategy. Said calmly with an upraised brow, it’s been known to coerce confessions from even the most recalcitrant child. The implication is, “I already know, so you’d better start talking.”
Ethan rolled his eyes, raised his hands and said, “I’m going to ask Caryssa out.”
I expected a surly sigh and shrug to follow, but what he did next baffled me completely. He smiled. A big, happy smile.
My son is a cautious person. He had hedged his bets by doing the “pre-ask.” Not wanting to risk the annihilation of his self-esteem, he said, “Caryssa, what would you think if I asked you out?” Her happy squeals were enough for him to set the wheels in motion.
“I’ve been hoping you’d ask me,” she told him. The men in my house aren’t big at picking up subtle clues. In fact they’re … well, you know.
We broke the news to Ethan’s younger brothers at the dinner table. They enthusiastically approved.
“Wow!” said 12-year-old Zack. “I thought Ethan was just a skinny nerd, but he’s really cool!”
The prospective couple faced some challenges. Ethan has no driver’s license. Caryssa has one, but she had three wrecks in less than a year and isn’t allowed to have passengers until she’s 18.
They decided to take the bus downtown. Then, after dinner they would catch the shuttle to Lewis and Clark High School to see the school’s production of “Grease.”
When the big day arrived, my husband and I offered to drive the pair since we were going downtown anyway. We dropped them off at the STA plaza, and said we’d give them a ride home if we were still downtown when the play was done.
All through that evening memories of the two of them as babies, and toddlers played like a silent movie in my mind. Digging in sandboxes, celebrating countless birthdays at Chuck E Cheese. We even have a video of Caryssa at age 5 announcing that she wants to have 101 babies when she grows up.
Wasn’t it just yesterday they splashed at each other in the wading pool? It seems like children grow at a glacial pace when we want them to accomplish something like potty training, but zip past us like Jeff Gordon on his final lap, when we most want to enjoy them.
My cell phone rang as we finished dinner. The couple wanted a ride.
As we left the restaurant, we saw them walking down the sidewalk, holding hands and laughing into each other’s eyes. He so tall and blonde. She so dark and beautiful.
They were walking toward us.
But it felt for all the world like they were walking away.