I flew to Portland on Monday for the chance to pay $3.33.9 for a gallon of regular gas. Actually, I took the 6:45 a.m. flight to the Rose City to help Amy Dearest pack her car and drive her back home, following her junior year at University of Portland. My close encounter with the Ghost of Gas Prices Yet to Come at a Portland gas station was a bonus. As an attendant tossed his cigarette aside and shuffled over from a coupla other smokers seemingly guarding the station’s air compressor, I wondered how much of the gas price resulted from Oregon’s loopy law that prevents you from pumping your own gas. Whatever the amount, it doesn’t include the cost of an interpreter. The attendant couldn’t speak English, and I couldn’t find the lever inside the car to open the hinge for the gas cap. Luckily, the attendant and I both spoke broken sign language and the tank was already half full. So I got off for under $30, and Amy and I made it back to Coeur d’Alene with only one stop in the Tri-Cities to top off the tank for $24 at $3.19.9 per gallon. Upon returning from my 12-hour, three-state venture, I was greeted by a sight that I found surprisingly welcome as I pulled off Interstate 90 at the Fourth Street exit – the Exxon gas sign advertising regular unleaded for $3.00.9. Sometimes, I don’t mind when Idaho’s behind the times.

Why do horny boomers end up in outdoor tubs?

What’s with those Cialis commercials that end with a middle-age couple holding hands while sitting in his and hers bathtubs on a beach? I hadn’t seen the TV ads when John Livingston/Spokane called to ask how many people have outside bathtubs. I figured he meant saunas. Dunno the significance of tubs on the beach. Mebbe it’s to draw the attention of males away from that warning in the commercial re: the need to call a doctor if a, ahem, certain condition lasts more than four hours … Hot Potatoes hates to say we told you so, but didn’t we tell Prosecutor Bill Douglas for two years that his e-mails to former subordinate Marina Kalani were. Public. Documents. Subject. To Public. Perusal? Now, all we need to find out is what’s in those 1,000-plus e-mails that was worth two years of stonewalling. … Tater Tots (or, “words and phrases Demo pols should learn if they’re going to pretend to be religious to trick Evangelical voters”): 1. Praise the Lord, 2. In Jesus’ name, 3. Unborn baby, 4. Born again, and 5. Pass the collection plate.

Shazam! They were stopped for single-digit speeding?

Headliner: “Trooper to lose 2 vacation days: Exposed breasts left him flustered.” We’re focused on the wrong thing here. Cops and exposed private parts have become routine in Spokane County. Hot Potatoes wants to know why WSP Trooper Mark Haws pulled over the two women for driving 44 mph in a 35 mph zone. Don’t speeding motorists have double-digit leeway? … “WSP credibility bleeds/As state troopers trade tickets for deeds/That – bribe or coercion/Still smack of perversion/Let’s just issue them Mardi Gras beads!” – Andy Michaels. … Today’s edition of Hot Potatoes was brought to you by the No. 5. Or the number of Albertson’s workers in a Tacoma grocery who were fired for trying to stop shoplifters. Or file this story under “no good deed goes unpunished.”