Spokane quiz: Read it and try not to weep
Hello and a happy Bloomsday to all.
Today is that special day when 40,000 health-conscious people cap off their 7.46-mile run by all cramming into the Olive Garden for a pasta la feasta.
While you’re waiting for a seat (or another load of breadsticks), I have composed a brief multiple-choice quiz designed to test your knowledge on Spokane-area current events.
So as the East Sprague drug dealers love to say: “Let’s get cracking!”
1. What do you call Herman Lewis, the Spokane pastor who faces multiple charges after leading police on a 10-block chase in a Corvette?
A. A fallen soul.
B. A lost lamb.
C. An unholy roller.
2. After the recent rash of on- and off-duty shootings by Spokane police, the department finds itself embarrassingly …
A. Short on investigators.
B. Short on public relations.
C. Short on bullets.
3. No self-respecting Bloomsday runner should ever enter the race without …
A. Trendy running shoes.
B. Sweat-wicking running shorts.
C. A boatload of deodorant.
4. The word “Avista” comes from the Latin root meaning to …
A. Plunder.
B. Pillage.
C. Pilfer.
D. All of the above.
(Har! Bet you didn’t see that coming.)
5. Replacing the ancient hard plastic IMAX Theatre seats with plush padded new chairs is sure to increase …
A. Ticket sales.
B. The theater’s value.
C. Moviegoer ass-cheek circulation.
6. The new dinosaur exhibit at the Northwest Museum of Arts and Culture features …
A. A Tyrannosaurus named Sue.
B. A Brontosaurus named Phil.
C. A Lame-Duckosaurus named Dennis Hession.
7. Resuming Idaho field-burning would be …
A. A victory to grass farmers.
B. A boost to Gem State independence.
C. Yet another giant Idaho “Screw You” to air quality.
8. Spokane’s arena football team, which won the af2 championship last year, is called …
A. The Shock.
B. The Spark.
C. The Flash in the Pan if they don’t get it in gear.
9. When it comes to pursuing justice, Spokane County Prosecutor Steve Tucker is …
A. A bright beacon of truth.
B. A leading legal eagle.
C. A compulsive mediocre golfer.
10. Kootenai County can solve its dire shortage of deputy sheriffs by …
A. Raising wages.
B. Improving benefits.
C. Swapping bullets for officers with the Spokane Police Department.
11. Bob Holland’s alleged illegal marina development “nuked” one of the last Lake Pend Oreille kokanee salmon spawning beds. If that’s true he should be …
A. Utterly ashamed of himself.
B. Fined. Fined. Fined.
C. Mounted over a fireplace like a big-mouth singing novelty bass.
12. Allegations of bribery and scandal surround the company that was picked to operate cameras designed to catch red-light runners. Considering this, Spokane officials should …
A. Suspend all contact with this shady outfit.
B. Scrap the whole red-light camera plan as a bad idea.
C. Tell the rascals: “Welcome to City Hall. You’ll fit right in!”
OK. Now it’s time to tally your scores.
If you chose “C” at least eight times (and answered “D” for the Avista question) you are very informed.
If, however, reading the test made you curl up into a ball and sob uncontrollably, congratulations are in order.
You’re a knowledgeable native who definitely knows the score.