It seems like three years since you and I got together for a chat in this corner of the editorial page. What’s that, you say? It was three years and change? I don’t keep track of those things. But I know it wasn’t yesterday. My fans – both of ‘em – have been clamoring for the return of Hot Potatoes. In its previous incarnation, Hot Potatoes was a predictably conservative compilation of short opinions, separated by dots (…). In the time I’ve been away establishing the Huckleberries Online blog, I’ve learned that conservatives aren’t always right, and liberals definitely aren’t either, politically speaking. In other words, I still bleed black and white and red all over, but I may not be as predictably conservative as before.

29 Words: Spokane, “want some candy?”

Headliner: “Field burning may resume: EPA allows Idaho permits during federal review.” DFO: I still prefer to bogart a coupla weeks of field smoke (especially if it’s blowing toward Sandpoint) than digest the toxins of subdivisions across the Rathdrum Prairie: vehicle exhaust, lawn fertilizer leaking into the aquifer, and the tax burden of paying for new infrastructure … You’ve read columnist Doug Clark’s thoughts re: the proposal to locate a $5M treatment center for sex offenders at the Airway Heights Corrections Center. Here’s Andy Michaels’ view in his 29 Words Or Less blog: “Olympia still thinks us handy/For dumping offenders most randy,/The state project is nice,/If we ignore the price/How ‘bout it, Spokane – want some candy?” … Tater Tots (or, what to do after Bayview developer Bob Holland destroyed kokanee/salmon spawning beds with his illegal marina construction): 1. Shut him down; 2. Fine him the max available at every level of bureaucracy; 3. Order him to remove all manmade structures from the spawning beds; 4. Restore the spawning beds; and 5. Turn him over to Earth First! radicals in a secluded forest location for proper sensitivity training.

Now we know what Jesus would drive – not

Headliner II: Police Taser man claiming to be God and/or Jesus: Pastor leads chase through Spokane at 40 mph. (Now you know what God and/or Jesus would drive, if it was in his nature to solicit a Shari’s waitress for $50 and punch an oldtimer in the face. So much for Morning Star Baptist Church Pastor Herman Lewis’ career as a spiritual counselor. Book ‘em, Dan-O) … Quotable Quote: “I also knew that the paper I had rolled the doggie doo in wasn’t the Bee … it was the Spokesman-Review. For once, I was glad our competition had complete coverage of something” – David Keyes/Bonner County Bee publisher. (This, from a guy whose idea of newspapering is covering the local chamber of commerce.) … Today’s edition of Hot Potatoes was brought to you by the number: 221,664. Or the number of illegals ousted from the United States over the last year. Or an increase of about 20 percent over the previous year, as a result of pressure being put on the Immigration and Customs Enforcement oafishals. Or this version of catch-and-release isn’t as much fun or as productive as the one that requires a fishing pole.