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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

How will he ever survive?


Richard Hatch
 (Associated Press / The Spokesman-Review)
From Wire Reports The Spokesman-Review

Richard Hatch, who won $1 million on “Survivor,” says being in prison for failing to pay taxes on his prize is no day at the beach.

Hatch, who became known as the “naked fat guy” for refusing to wear clothes for much of the first season of the CBS reality show, was sentenced last year to 51 months in prison.

“Obviously, this is better than the county lockup,” Hatch, who’s at a minimum-security facility in Morgantown, W.Va., tells People magazine. “There’s no fence here.

“But people think I’ve come to a country club. It’s not. This is prison. Just because it’s got a beautiful view of the countryside doesn’t make it a resort.”

It is better than the “six horrendous months” he spent at the Plymouth County Correctional Facility in Massachusetts, Hatch allows:

“We were all in a small room – 52 people: child molesters, murderers, rapists and me. … There were no doors, no privacy.

“There were two TVs in that room, so I lived all day long with ‘Jerry Springer’ blaring.”

Squeegee Reegie?

Kelly Ripa says her “Live With Regis and Kelly” co-host Regis Philbin is in good shape after having heart bypass surgery Wednesday.

“I’m so thrilled that you’re feeling better, and nursie-poo is coming with her sponge!” Ripa joked on Thursday’s show.

“It would be nice to bathe him on-air, you know what I mean?” said MTV’s Damien Fahey, filling in for Philbin. “We replace the desk with a tub, we run some warm water.”

Replied Ripa: “That’s the pay-per-view special.”

In a similar vein

Larry King underwent vascular surgery Friday and was expected to return Monday to his CNN talk show.

King, 73, had successful quintuple bypass heart surgery in 1987.

Con artist formerly known as …

Prince Frederic von Anhalt is suing the Fox network and Bill O’Reilly after the talk-show host called him a “fraud” for claiming he could be the father of Anna Nicole Smith‘s baby.

Von Anhalt, who’s married to Zsa Zsa Gabor, is seeking at least $10 million in damages.

Since the show aired, he says, people give him dirty looks when he goes grocery shopping.

“They say, ‘Look, here comes the fraud,’ ” he says. “I get lots of e-mails from people bad-mouthing me. It’s very embarrassing.”

That’s mama’s family, guys

Carol Burnett has filed a $2 million copyright infringement lawsuit against 20th Century Fox, claiming her longtime cleaning-woman character Charwoman was improperly portrayed on the animated series “Family Guy.”

The April 2006 episode shows Charwoman as a porno-shop maid, and used what the lawsuit called an “altered version” of Burnett’s theme music and her signature ear tug.

Says a Fox rep: “We are surprised that Ms. Burnett, who has made a career of spoofing others on television, would go so far as to sue ‘Family Guy’ for a simple bit of comedy.”

The birthday bunch

Singer-songwriter John Sebastian is 63. Actor Patrick Duffy is 58. Actor Kurt Russell is 56. Actress Lesley-Anne Down is 53. Actor Gary Sinise is 52. Actor Rob Lowe is 43. Singer Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins) is 40. Actress Marisa Coughlan is 33.