Annie’s Mailbox: Boyfriend likely stepping out
Dear Annie: I was lucky enough to find my true love at 16. I am now 19, and my boyfriend, “Warren,” and I have been together for more than three years. We have a wonderful, healthy relationship. He is my best friend and the most honest, trustworthy person I know. For some reason, however, I am having trouble getting over my own silly insecurities.
The problem began shortly after we started college together. Warren is a very friendly guy, so of course, he has been making friends left and right, including many girls in his classes. There are so many pretty girls around here that I am constantly worried he will fall for someone else and forget about me. On top of this, Warren has become more secretive about his actions ever since we got here, including covering his phone so I cannot see when he receives text messages.
I understand this is all normal and innocent, but I cannot stop myself from worrying. I am constantly trying to snoop around his things. Warren knows about my insecurities, and most of the time he reminds me that he loves me and thinks I am the most beautiful girl in the world, but other times he just laughs and ignores my questions, or worse, gets mad and tells me to give him space.
Annie, I really do love Warren and have complete trust in him. He knows we are meant for each other. Why am I so worried? – Sleepless in Ann Arbor, Mich.
Dear Sleepless: We don’t mean to upset you, but we’re not sure this is “all normal and innocent.” We suspect Warren would like to branch out, but he doesn’t want to hurt you. You are sensing this, and that’s why you feel insecure. Ask Warren to answer honestly about whether or not he wants the freedom to date others. If he says “yes,” we hope you will look at this as an opportunity to expand your horizons. Also, make an appointment with the school counseling service. It will help.
Dear Annie: My stepdaughter, “Kristy,” is getting married in June. Her natural father hasn’t had anything to do with his kids for a number of years. When she started making wedding plans, she asked my son and daughter if it would be OK with them if I walked her down the aisle. My daughter thought it was wonderful. However, my son and his wife have gotten together with my ex-wife and determined that if I walk Kristy down the aisle, I will be insulting my own daughter.
My daughter has no wedding plans at this time, and has said repeatedly that she’s OK with this. Is there some kind of rule that says I have to walk my daughter down the aisle before anyone else? – Confused Grandpa
Dear Grandpa: Your son, his wife and your ex are wrong. There are no rules about this.