It’s easy to feel freaked out by the story of Ashley, the 9-year-old “pillow angel.”

When news of her parents’ decision to limit her growth through medication and surgery appeared earlier this month, a visceral reaction exploded. The very idea of preventing a disabled girl from reaching adulthood offended many Americans’ sensibilities.

But this is a case that deserves a second, more thoughtful examination. And at the heart of it lies the tragic realities of life for severely brain-damaged children and the parents who love them. At its core, this story should inspire compassion, not condemnation.

It turns out that this Seattle-area girl began life as a lovely, wide-eyed baby. But she stopped developing normally at the age of three months. Today she cannot walk or talk. She cannot change her position on a pillow. Her disorder is called static encephalopathy, and it has left her with disabilities far more profound than most of us can imagine.

Her parents, who have agreed to share their story but not their names, care for her at home. According to their blog she’s now 4-foot-5 and 65 pounds, and they’re reaching the limit of their ability to lift her. They aren’t sure she recognizes them, yet they hope to keep her in their arms long into the future.

This case raises serious questions about how our society cares for its most vulnerable members. It’s clear that as a society we do less than we might, that the burdens on loving mothers and fathers are bottomless.

Ashley’s parents realized she’d be more comfortable without the weight and risks of an adult-sized body. Yet the decision to proceed with medical treatment was not made lightly.

Her doctors consulted with an ethicist at Children’s Hospital & Regional Medical Center in Seattle. They also, according to the Seattle Times, sought the agreement of a large hospital ethics panel.

The treatment consisted of high doses of estrogen to curb Ashley’s growth, a hysterectomy to prevent the discomfort of menstrual cramps and pregnancy should she ever be raped, and the removal of breast tissue because her family history includes cancer and fibrocystic disease.

All of them – the parents, the doctors, the ethicists – concurred: This treatment was in Ashley’s best interests.

Our visceral reactions to the case aren’t entirely suspect. We should indeed be deeply wary of medical interventions that prevent Americans with disabilities from living life as fully as they possibly can.

Thankfully, Ashley’s life has only been improved by her treatment.

Few of us will ever know what her parents face. This loving, Seattle-area couple deserve not our scorn, but our respect.