Harriette Cole: Try not to let success break up friends

Dear Harriette: I am a 27-year-old female who has graduated from a top-100 university with a B.A. in finance. I am studying for my GMAT now in hopes of getting my M.B.A. and then my J.D.

The thing is, I come from a poor, single-mother household of five kids and a family of no college graduates, and I had to work full time while going to college in order to pay for my $30,000 tuition.

Most of my friends had kids and didn’t go to college, and now I find myself distant from them because we live different lifestyles. I like to buy designer goods; I know they can’t afford the things I buy, so I don’t even call them to brag about my luxuries, as a regular girlfriend relationship would allow. I worked full time and went to school six days a week to finish college. I said to myself, when I finish I will find time for them and hang out as before when we were teens. Now it seems as if I don’t want to be bothered with anyone.

All I want to do is go home, be with my boyfriend and live the life we are creating for ourselves. I have found that I do not want to return phone calls or go anywhere. Is this because I was tied up for five years of college and I’m just exhausted, or is it that I’ve outgrown my friends? What is it, and how can I fix it? I can’t even talk to my friends about being tired or anything. They’ll just think I’m full of excuses. — Samantha, New York, N.Y.

Dear Samantha: I applaud your achievements, but you are dealing with two different issues. You should be proud of what you have accomplished, but don’t let your success separate you from your friends. These are probably individuals who supported you as you applied to and went through school and now as you’re starting your career. They can’t relate to you because you won’t let them. You mentioned bragging about your luxuries.

Never throw your ability to purchase expensive items in someone’s face. At the end of the day, they are just material objects; they don’t make you a better person. Are you buying designer goods because you can afford them — or because your friends can’t?

You also mentioned that you like to go home and don’t want to go anywhere. Are you unhappy at all? If so, this presents the perfect opportunity to spend a little less time with your boyfriend and more time reconnecting with your friends.