There’s another ‘man’ in her life
Denise Jackson knew that her marriage to Alan Jackson wasn’t perfect. She was too needy and insecure in the relationship, and he was on the road a lot, becoming one of country’s biggest superstars.
Still, she wasn’t prepared for the shock she got in 1998, shortly after the birth of their third child, when Jackson – her sweetheart since their teen years – told her that he didn’t want to be in the marriage anymore.
Hurt and disillusioned, she tried everything to get him back, and finally turned to prayer.
In the end, she says, becoming closer to God helped her become closer to her husband – and save her marriage.
Jackson writes about her journey in the new book “It’s All About Him: Finding the Love of My Life” (Thomas Nelson, $24.99) – a title that you soon realize isn’t really about Jackson.
Q: What kind of pressure did you feel to have this perfect relationship with your husband?
A: Everyone, I felt, was looking at us under a magnifying glass and I had to be the perfect wife, who was the perfect size, who wore the perfect gown, who had the perfect jewels, and it was so stressful to live like that and to base your self-worth on what you thought other people felt about you. So that’s why it was so freeing to really come to the place in my life where I realized that I shouldn’t base my self-worth on any of that, that my self-worth really comes from being a child of God.
Q: When your marriage broke up, you describe it as a total shock.
A: It really boiled down to a codependency. Alan was the stronger one, I was the weaker, needier partner, and it just didn’t feel balanced. And he kept wanting a partner who would be equal and who he could respect, but we really just didn’t know how to get there.
Q: He revealed that he was unfaithful at one point. How did you regain the trust?
A: First of all, I had to be able to forgive him, and that’s a free gift that you offer someone. So I was willing to do that but in return he had to show me in tangible ways that he was trustworthy. And over an extended period of time he showed me in numerous ways.
Q: Do you always have that doubt, though?
A: It’s been almost 10 years, and initially when we got back together I did worry and wonder – was he really and truly committed to our marriage? But now I have such a peace and contentment about it, because he has shown me over and over and over that he does want to be in the marriage, and it’s evident; it’s evident every day.
The birthday bunch
Actress Tuesday Weld is 64. Actress Barbara Bach is 60. Actor Paul Reubens (Pee-Wee Herman) is 55. Gospel singer Yolanda Adams is 45. Actress Chandra Wilson (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 38. Actress Sarah Chalke (“Scrubs”) is 31. Singer Mario is 21. Actress Alexa Vega (“Spy Kids”) is 19.