Plan fun, refreshing vacation

Your last family trip was far from relaxing: You spent your beach time keeping the sand out of your toddler’s mouth and your hotel time yelling at the kids for ordering room service (again). And the only private time you got with your spouse was those golden five minutes between tucking the kids in and collapsing from exhaustion. Family vacations are hectic, but a little good advice can help keep mayhem to a minimum. Here are some tips for making sure everyone has fun – plus a list of destinations that help care for your kids so you can play. A vacation that leaves everyone refreshed: What a concept. Here, Real Simple’s steps to building a better family vacation.

Share a rental with another family

Sharing a house or a condominium can keep costs down. It gives you more room to spread out than a hotel room does, plus a kitchen to cut down on restaurant meals. And the extra vacation-mates provide kids with built-in entertainment (other kids! Uncle Jimmy!) and supervision. Two good sources of vacation properties are www.resortquest.com, which manages a network of more than 17,000 rentals in the United States and Canada (specialty: beach and ski areas), and www.vacationrentals.com, which lists private homes in most states and on most continents at prices to suit various budgets.

Figure in child care

If you’re not traveling with another family and you and your spouse hope to spend some time alone, plan ahead to make sure you’ll have someone to watch the kids. Hotels may maintain a list of qualified baby sitters, and some even include the service with the cost of the room. If the hotel refers you to an agency, call to ask for references from other travelers, and request to speak to the sitter it assigns you before you arrive. If you’re staying in a condo, try calling a nearby reputable hotel for recommendations. Some resorts have full children’s programs that offer supervised entertainment, like pizza and games, so you and your spouse can have dinner alone. If you feel uncomfortable leaving your kids with a stranger, consider bringing along another family member to help.

Research activities before you go

To get your children excited about the trip in advance – and to be ready with surefire boredom chasers when they’re needed – check the area’s tourist office or chamber of commerce Web site for the week’s scheduled activities, such as farmers’ markets and parades. Call the local library and bookstore to find out about story hours. To save scrambling for a local paper when rain dictates an afternoon at the movies, go online before you leave home to find a local theater’s show times or at least a number to call. And if you’re counting on using the hotel’s children’s program or heated pool, ask before booking to be sure those services are available during your stay.

Put the kids to work

Involving the children in trip planning will relieve some of your burden. It will also send the message that this is everyone’s vacation – so everyone needs to help make it fun and easy – and set a good tone for the whole trip. “If your child is mature enough, possibly as young as 5 or 6, tell him where you’re going and how you’ll get there, then let him help make plans,” says David Fassler, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Vermont. In addition to engaging them and getting them enthused about going, helping to plan can lessen any anxiety kids may have about the trip.

Travel light

Some car-rental companies offer car seats, and some hotels lend cribs and strollers at no charge. To lighten your load even more, especially when traveling with children who need different age-appropriate equipment, consider having www.babysaway.com drop off at your hotel – and pick up when you leave – a variety of gear, including car seats, all-terrain strollers, frame backpacks and even a customized bucket of toys (a full-size crib costs about $10 a day; a tub of toys, about $6). The service is available in major cities and resort towns across 25 states.

Set a schedule – but be flexible

Establishing a vacation schedule, with predetermined family time and downtime, ensures that the children get enough rest, you get a mental break and dinner times don’t lead to meltdowns. Maybe the mornings are spent together, touring or taking a lesson, and the afternoons are free. Tell the kids in advance what to expect each day, when and where meals will be eaten, and times when you will be off-duty (at a spa appointment, say). But be ready to make adjustments. “The best advice I can give parents is to recognize when kids have had enough,” says Ann Corwin, Ph.D., the founder of TheParentingDoctor.com and a parenting consultant in Laguna Niguel, Calif.