Sally Howell’s life was all about love
Sally Howell lived large, and her death has left a large hole in the hearts of many. Howell was a multifaceted woman, bright and talented, spiritual, loving. She is missed deeply by hundreds of people whose lives she touched, but she lives on vividly in the memories of each of those who knew her.
Born Sally Bame, on July 28, 1929, in Auburn, N.Y., the youngest of five sisters, she learned the importance of family and roots early on and carried that with her into adulthood. She was valedictorian of her high school class and attended Cornell University on scholarship, where she earned a degree in dietetics. After Cornell, she faced the decision of either accepting a scholarship to the London Royal Academy of Music or marrying Jim Howell, whom she’d met at Cornell, then a seminary student at Princeton Theological Seminary. The couple married in the fall of 1951, the beginning of a 54-year marriage. When Jim Howell completed seminary, the couple moved to North Idaho, following his call as a “flying missionary.”
At her memorial service, her daughter, Ruthann, said, “Mom and Dad were blessed with my birth in December of 1955, and then either decided that this was so great they must do it again, or that they must be able to do better – and had my sister, Juleann, in May of 1959. Thus began one of her greatest roles – being a mom.
“Both of our parents provided us with unconditional love, the belief that we could do and be anything, and that we were strong, smart, brave, beautiful, etc. – all the things every child needs to hear,” she continued. “They also had the ability to tell us they were sorry – and demonstrated humility, teaching us that being an adult didn’t mean you were perfect, but that you could always learn from mistakes. As we became adults, we began to appreciate what a rare gift that really was.”
When her daughters were in first and fifth grades, Howell was wooed back to work by Kootenai Medical Center, where she was director of the Dietary Department for 28 years. Joe Morris, CEO of KMC, in a staff memo following her death, wrote, “Sally was a great manager, mentor, friend and colleague. She was an instant friend to those she met, and was especially known for her infectious laughter. She was a large part of the history of KMC and made significant contributions to our success. She will be missed.”
Don Soltman, vice president for Support and Ancillary Services at KMC, and a close friend of Howell’s, points to the spot deep in the bowels of the hospital laundry room where her special chair has only recently been moved. Greg Martin, manager of the hospital laundry department, recalls, “Sally helped teach me how to live life. She was a wonderful person.” He remembers buying a copy of The Spokesman-Review for Sally on his way to work every day. Notoriously early for everything all her life, Sally could be found in her chair in the laundry room reading the newspaper before work every morning.
Soltman met Howell on his first day of work in July 1983. At the time, the hospital enjoyed a “family” atmosphere, and nearly everyone took coffee breaks at the same time in the cafeteria. Soltman was escorted to the break area and saw Howell “holding court and knitting, surrounded by her cronies.” Many of her friends still treasure elaborately designed hand-knitted mittens from Howell.
The comments of Howell’s close friends testify to the high value she placed on friendship. Zella Fye, a colleague from the hospital, who met Howell the day the “new” hospital opened, says, “Sally’s death has left a great big hole in my life. There are so many funny stories about her, I’ve been trying to think of just one!”
Jean and Harold “Cupcake” Smart, friends of Howell’s through their shared love of music and involvement on the symphony board, remember sharing “Cupcake’s” traditional birthday pie with the Howells just before Christmas. Louise Shadduck, a friend through Mothers Club, remembers Sally Howell’s reserve of strength, and her broad and deep knowledge.
For 40 years, Howell was a member of Mothers Club, a group of women who have met regularly since 1924. At a recent Thursday morning breakfast, her friends enjoyed reminiscing about her. She was famous for her lemon meringue pie and her fondness for Clinkerdagger’s pea salad; her pet names for people; and the meeting at which everyone came dressed as their favorite person and Howell came as God. They also remember the time she returned a half-read biography of Katherine Hepburn when she discovered that Hepburn had had an affair with Spencer Tracy; her apologies whenever she had to buy a new car; and the gift certificates she issued for free meals at the hospital cafeteria to patients who missed being fed in the short-stay unit due to advanced technology.
Marlo Faulkner recalls, “It was all about love – she loved Post Falls, Idaho, life, music. I think she loved even me, and I think it surprised her that she could, but once she made that commitment, she never wavered.” The other mothers agree. “We were all better people for having known Sally.”
Her daughter, Juleann, describes the last days of her mother’s life. “Last Christmas was special. Our family greatly looked forward to spending it together for the first time in at least 20 years.” Her mother wasn’t feeling well, and “by the time she agreed to go to the ER, she had a bad pneumonia. We would later learn that she had a post-obstructive pneumonia caused by a large lung carcinoma.”
Howell died after spending 11 days in the hospital. “In the end, when Mom decided to remove the breathing tube and ventilator, she looked at peace,” Juleann said. “She held our hands, told us she loved us, and peacefully slipped into the loving arms of God.”
Howell’s ashes will be spread in her backyard garden by the family later this summer.