Color us perplexed about the controversy surrounding Talk Lights at elementary schools. These traffic-style lights are used in several lunchrooms in the region to help keep noise levels under control.

In reporting an article updating the use of such a light at Athol Elementary School, the staff didn’t want to talk about it. It seems the original article drew national scorn from people with far too much time on their hands. Among other things, it was called “psychological torture.”

Here’s how it works: As the decibel level rises, the noise-sensitive light changes from green to yellow to red. When it reaches red, children are urged to quiet down. Some schools shave recess time if the red light stays on.

Oh, the humanity! Abu Ghraib right here in the Inland Northwest!

The problem with Talk Lights, or Blab-O-Meters (as a former principal called them), is that they aren’t used enough. Imagine the benefits if they were deployed elsewhere. Political discourse these days is dominated by nattering nabobs of nonsense. And how do they get attention? Volume! Volume! Volume!

With a few technological tweaks, the Blab-O-Meter could change all that. Let’s say talk radio boors are issuing their daily diatribes. Once the light turns red, their microphones switch off. It’s the opposite of torture.

“BUSH LIED, PEOPLE DIED!” … red light.

“LIBERALS ARE AIDING THE TERRORISTS!” … red light.

This would work well on television, too. The cable TV shoutfests would be rendered mute – and moot. Who knows, maybe the news divisions would eventually fill those long stretches of silence with intelligent reporting, analysis and commentary.

Anything’s better than people shouting over each other like, well, children. A good example is this recent exchange between Fox News host John Gibson, who wrote a book called “The War on Christmas,” and a guest named Rob Boston, who thinks the book is silly.

Gibson: “My impression is that actually the reason a lot of these schools are returning Christmas is the book, and (Bill) O’Reilly’s campaign, and they’re saying you can’t do this this year because we got caught.”

Boston: “You guys, you guys are rich. This stuff was made up. I called school superintendents and I said …”

Gibson: “Rob, Rob, Rob! …”

Boston: “… O’Reilly’s telling people you can’t have cookies in school …”

Gibson: Rob, ROB, stop right there! …”

Boston: “… shaped like angels, and he said that never happened.”

Gibson: “Rob, ROB, ROB. STOP RIGHT THERE!”

Typical of these shows, there’s nothing in that exchange that wouldn’t have been improved by silence.

Making Blab-O-Meters mandatory at city halls, state legislatures and Congress would strike a blow for civic discourse. The showboats and bomb throwers might have to work on actual legislation that would benefit the public. They might not run for office in the first place. Thoughtful leaders brimming with ideas would replace charlatans shouting slogans.

Green light!