‘Stache talk

When Gonzaga University basketball star Adam Morrison grew a sparse thatch of fuzz on his upper lip this season, the land of the Zags exploded in mustache mania.

At last weekend’s game against Stanford University, everyone from unkempt Kennel Club members to menopausal moms to ESPN’s Dick Vitale slapped on fakes. After the game, spectators picked their way over sidewalks lined with furry, peeled-off mustaches, a caterpillar trail that stretched right across the campus.

“I’d say it’s the noblest form of facial hair,” Morrison told ESPN’s Andy Katz. “So that’s why I got it.”

Certainly, others may beg to differ.

But today we turn to a batch of experts, asking them to weigh in on The Mustache. They’ll assess style and grooming, they’ll explore the science behind who can grow ‘em and who can’t, and they’ll even give tips on how to turn peach fuzz into world-class, competitive whiskers.

The style experts

In the fashion world, the mustache couldn’t be much further out right now. And even in the days when Tom Selleck’s ‘stache reigned on television, a faint growth like Morrison’s wasn’t exactly hot.

“Technically, it’s not a mustache if a cat can lick it off,” says Troy Nickerson, Spokane actor, director and hairstylist at Frenz Hair Design on North Normandie Street.

“I get why he’s doing it,” he says. “The floppy hair, the long shaggy hair – that’s very cool right now. It’s very trendy, it’s very in and it looks good on him.

Yet, Nickerson says, “He could do without the mustache.”

Across the river at The Man Shop, barber Nicole Black says a goatee would be vastly hipper.

“If Adam was in my chair,” says Black, “I would recommend a nice, relaxing hot-towel shave.”

Their best advice for any mustachioed man: Keep the growth neatly trimmed right along the lip line, comb all the hairs in the same direction (even a mustache can wake up with bed-head), and use a good wax or hair pomade for control and sheen.

Nickerson will direct a play called “Stepping Out” at Interplayers, opening March 9. He knows something about entertainment values – and he wears a beard and mustache himself.

On Morrison’s widely mimicked lip hair, he concedes, “He’d be crazy to shave it off right now. It’s getting a lot of mileage.”

The science guys

Medical experts at the University of Washington School of Medicine agree: The ability to grow a mustache all comes down to hormones and genetics.

Dr. John Amory,associate professor of medicine, researches male reproduction. Technically, he’s an andrologist, but he rarely uses the term because nobody’s heard of it.

“Tell someone you’re an andrologist, and they think you study androids,” he says.

Amory has a quick opinion on why No. 3’s mustache grew in so thin. After one look at the player’s stats, Amory can rule out a hormonal factor.

“I would never want to imply this guy has a testosterone deficiency. I do not think that he does. Obviously, he’s a great athlete,” Amory says.

“Somebody competing at this level, I would be flabbergasted if anything was wrong with his hormones.”

Dr. Russell Caldwell, UW associate clinical professor in dermatology, concurs.

“It’s probably ultimately mainly genetics,” he says.

Neither of these medical professors thinks Morrison’s diabetes would be likely to affect his rate of mustache growth. But on the future of the most famous facial hair in Spokane, their opinions differ slightly.

“It’s probably unlikely to change over time for him,” Amory says. “He will probably have a fairly slow rate of facial hair growth his whole life because his genes won’t change.”

Caldwell doesn’t expect Morrison’s mustache to ever catch up to the thick gray brush his dad, John Morrison, wears.

But could Adam Morrison do anything to grow a fuller mustache?

“Now that’s a good question,” Caldwell says. “You could try Rogaine. It’s an over-the-counter drug. I’d be fascinated to know what he thinks.”

The Whisker Club champ

Believe it or not, there’s an international competition for lip hair called the World Beard and Mustache Championships.

Last fall, the event took place in Berlin, and Bruce Roe, the president of Bremerton’s Whisker Club, was one of the few Americans who won. He earned third place in the event’s Wild West category.

Roe wore a dramatic handlebar. With his full, gracefully curved mustache and period costume, he looked just like Wyatt Earp.

In Roe’s world, Adam Morrison wouldn’t exactly be a first-round draft choice. But the 55-year-old Roe, who recently retired as a construction equipment instructor at Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, has some encouraging advice for the young athlete.

“The next world competition is in Brighton, England, on Sept. 1, 2007,” Roe says. “So he’s got like a year and a half to work on it.”

He recommends Vitamin B, careful grooming, and checking out his group’s Web site at whiskerclub.org for the right products.

A German mustache wax called Brother’s Love is “the stiffest, strongest stuff” he’s ever found. Morrison could also try Stern’s wax from Germany or Roe’s personal favorite: hairspray made by Freeze It. He buys it at Walgreen’s.

Other than that, Morrison simply needs to stay away from the razor, Roe says.

“He could certainly contact me, and I’d love to get him advice,” he says. “An NBA star with a great mustache would just be huge.”