The Slice: Time is short; plan accordingly

With just a week to go before the winter solstice, this might be a good time to come up with some seasonal pagan rituals that fit nicely with your busy lifestyle.

How about singing sun-worshiping songs during the brief window of daylight between getting up in the dark and going home from work in the dark?

Or how about offering up sugar cookies as a sacrifice to appease the gods of holiday-vacation scheduling?

Or doing a little dance in the lunch room to ward off evil spirits that would trick you into sending a snide e-mail to the wrong person.

OK, let’s move on.

“Relationship advice: “My husband works in the mill in Bonner, Mont., near Missoula,” wrote Laurie Nelson of Pullman. “Did you know that the key to marital happiness is keeping Idaho between you?”

Noted. But I wonder. What is the key to marital happiness if you actually live in Idaho?

My phone line is open.

“Check your depth setting: Several years ago, Ray Blowers was using his new snow thrower and couldn’t hear that he was also shooting gravel against his metal-sided home and several cars parked nearby. “My son-in-law came busting out of the house, exhorting me to cease fire.”

“Just wondering: Sometime around 1989 I lost a jean jacket that had just gotten broken in. I really liked it. I’m pretty sure I left it in a small restaurant in Choteau, Mont. (I called after getting back to Spokane, but it was gone.)

Anyway, here’s my question: What’s something you lost years ago and still miss?

“Slice answer: Shelley Davis was one of several readers who said we aren’t likely to see them covering their heads this winter. “I wouldn’t put on a hat at any temperature,” she wrote.

“A very special episode of real life: There’s something about seeing a couple having a fight in a Christmas tree lot that makes the season seem all too real.

“Warm-up questions: Can Christmas cards sent by businesses be tasteful and sincere or are they all simply crass marketing tools? Are Westerners less suited for living in housing developments that have lots of rules and restrictions than people in other parts of the country? What would it take to convince you that ice fishing is a good idea? What’s the surest sign that a person has turned some corner and will never again want to go anywhere or do anything? What Inland Northwest child holds the record for being most terrified of Santa? What do the floaters in your field of vision look like?

“Today’s Slice question: Those telephoning what local home are treated to the loudest, most sustained sounds of kids screaming in the background?