Settle fights with words, not fists

Dear Annie: I am a 10-year-old girl and I have a twin sister, and we constantly fight. It’s like we can’t stop! We always find something to argue about, and sometimes we get rough and start punching and hitting, and someone always ends up hurt. We tease each other whether we are at home, at a store or at a restaurant.

We try to say “sorry,” but we always end up fighting again and again. We don’t know how to stop, and we can’t avoid each other because we are sisters. Please help us. – Don’t Want To Argue Anymore

Dear Don’t Want To Argue: A certain amount of sibling fighting – sometimes exacerbated in twins – is normal, but beating on each other is not. Ask your parents to get more involved and set definite ground rules (punching and hitting should never be allowed), and help you learn to resolve your differences in a more mature manner. You two need to settle your disagreements verbally, always remembering that you are sisters and your bond is forever.

Dear Annie: On my son’s 20th birthday, some of his friends had a birthday party for him. At the party, beer was available and my son drank. He decided to drive home, and unfortunately, no one stopped him. He was killed.

Not only was I shocked at his death – my handsome, tall, popular and only son – but there were many adults who knew he drank and never told me or his father. I had no idea. Teens think they are invincible and that it won’t happen to them.

Please, if you know an underage teen who is drinking, tell the parents. Who cares if the child gets mad at you? Saving a life is the priority. Ten years from now, when you see them achieving and going in the right direction, you can be proud of yourself. And believe me, they will respect you for having done the right thing. – Unbelievably Sad in Pennsylvania

Dear Sad: Adults who allow teens to drink or do drugs in their presence are giving tacit approval. Many choose to assume the parents already know, when often, this is not the case. Parents should be alert to the fact that nearly all teens (and many pre-teens) are going to be exposed to alcohol and drugs. Don’t wait until you notice the signs. Assume these negative influences are going to come up, and discuss them with your children. Explain why they need to be careful. Let them know that if they are impaired in any way, they can call you to pick them up – no questions asked.

Thank you for writing to us in your time of grief so that others may benefit from your tragic experience. You may have saved a life today.