Olympia is slowly sinking because of fat-cat lobbyists. Just kidding – geological shifts are to blame. Meanwhile, climate scientists are predicting that South Puget Sound water levels will rise 3 feet by 2100. The culprit, they say, is global warming.

Time to study up on how the Dutch keep their heads above water.

Good night and good grief. I’m shocked to learn that the two lacrosse players at exclusive Duke University accused of raping a woman actually grew up in tony, swanky, leafy neighborhoods with meticulously manicured lawns. This is a significant development, and when I figure out why I’ll let you know.

Meanwhile, CNN’s Nancy “Presumed Guilty” Grace remains outraged at due process, and MSNBC’s Tucker Carlson stands by his characterization of the alleged victim as a “crypto-hooker.”

Who says TV news misses Edward R. Murrow?

Warning! Dull-but-important context ahead! According to statistics compiled by the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, “an American is sexually assaulted every two and a half minutes.” Oddly, only a few of these incidents are covered incessantly by the media. The good news is that sexual assaults declined by 64 percent between 1994 and 2004 (the latest year figures were available).

OK, back to you, Nancy and Tucker!

Call the fashion police. Sales of shirts, shorts, sweats and other merchandise with “Duke lacrosse” emblazoned on them have skyrocketed, according to ESPN. So it’s not just the media making money on a rape case.

I feel better now.

Right and wrong. You are wrong if you think illegal immigrants pay no taxes. Stores don’t have special cash registers for illegal immigrants, thus they charge them the sales tax, too. In addition, payroll taxes (Social Security and Medicare) are deducted from their paychecks.

You are right if you think kicking all illegal immigrants out of the country will put a burden on Social Security, which clears an estimated $7 billion a year from workers who aren’t eligible to get any of that back.

You are wrong if you think federal income taxes are out of control. The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities reports, “In every year starting with 1998, the typical middle-income family of four has paid a smaller share of its income in federal income taxes than in any year from 1967 through 1997.”

You are right if you think that it’s the federal deficit that’s out of control and that making the 2001 and 2003 tax cuts permanent will make it worse.

We report. You decide. Public reaction to news stories is endlessly fascinating. As of Friday, The Spokesman-Review had published five letters on Otto Zehm, the developmentally disabled man who died after an altercation with police that included Tasering. The runaway cow that died after being zapped by authorities also generated five letters. One letter mentioned both.

Neither story provoked readers as much as when two boys burned a cat to death in 2003. That generated 38 letters – not counting the ones there wasn’t space for.

What’s wrong with this picture? I enjoy watching movies, but I don’t understand owning them. Yet, I don’t think twice about buying a book, even though I know I’ll only read it once.