Religion revels in its feminine side

What do you get if you put 12,000 women in the Spokane Arena? Potty parity with a vengeance.

Every men’s restroom except one in the cavernous building had its gender bent for the sold-out Women of Faith conference that began Friday evening and continues through today.

“You have come to a safe place, a place where you are welcome,” speaker Thelma Wells told the audience.

Safe to laugh at jokes that would make their husbands blush. Welcome to find joy in their Christianity.

A “joy stamp” would be a good idea, speaker Nicole Johnson suggested. Just slap one on whatever needs it, from a traffic ticket to a husband’s forehead.

All ages were represented at the conference, but women in their 40s seemed to predominate if a decade-by-decade cheering session could be judged by volume.

Christian comedian Anita Renfroe went straight to the issues that women in their 40s have on their minds.

After forcing members of her audience to give each other a “full frontal hug,” Renfroe patted her glittery belt and offered some post-40 wisdom: “If you can’t lose it, decorate it.”

Also, she advised, “You should question whether swimming is right for you – because, quite frankly, the lifeguards are just not going to try.”

Mammograms are another midlife tribulation for women, Renfroe confided to a group that already seemed to know. It starts with a gown that comes with “two ties, two holes and no instructions.”

Just when you’ve figured out how to put it on, someone tells you to take it off. Then comes an instruction to place an offering on “the altar,” she said.

“Just bring whatever you’ve got,” Renfroe said. “Some have a greater offering than others. Some just have a widow’s mite.”

That was one of many lessons Renfroe delivered straight from the Bible.

Don’t worry, she told Christian women concerned that God might not approve of their caffeine addictions: “He named a whole book of the New Testament ‘He-brews.’ “

On male-female relations, Renfroe said she thought God gave men the easier part. Husbands have only to love their wives, while wives must “submit” to their husbands.

Renfroe said she was OK with that at first. Then, she said, “I got older. I gained weight, and now I have to admit to you that it’s hard for me to submit to him – because, basically, I think I can take him.”

Actually, she said, her husband is a former pastor who has joined her on the road in what he calls “estrogen evangelism.”

“We’re real women with real problems and a real God who helps us with them,” Renfroe said.

Kathy Jingling, women’s pastor at Spokane’s Life Center Church, and Peggy Beck led a group of 416 women to the conference – enough to fill an entire section of the Arena and spill over into another.

“It’s just not to be missed,” Jingling said.

Many women are tired, overwhelmed and exhausted, but the conference – which typically comes to Spokane every other year – “heals you and helps you to move on with life,” Jingling said.

The event offers “a lot of fun, a lot of hope,” Beck said.

Speakers who offered lighthearted introductions Friday will deliver more in-depth discussions today.

Also, Christian soloist Natalie Grant will join the musicians who entertained the crowd on Friday. The others include the group Avalon, and soloist Sandi Patty.

Even Renfroe sang.

She intoned the familiar lines, “You raise me up … to more than I can be,” as a tribute to underwire.