Means test for Idaho offers surprise

In North Idaho, even grade-schoolers know what “Idaho” means: “I Do Anything Hagadone Orders.” It’s a joke, of course. Right? The real meaning of Idaho is vague. Some say it’s an Indian word that stands for “gem of the mountains.” Wikipedia contends that it’s a name made up by eccentric lobbyist George M. Willing for the territory that later became Colorado and then handed down to the Gem State. In international circles, however, IDAHO is starting to mean something entirely different. Last year, spearheaded by Editor Louis-Georges Tin of “Dictionnaire de l’homophobie,” gay rights activists observed their first IDAHO: “International Day Against Homophobia.” It occurred on May 17, the 15th anniversary of the day the World Health Organization removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders. IDAHO’s goal is to “articulate action and reflection in order to combat all physical, moral or symbolic violence related to sexual orientation or gender identity.” In red-meat conservative Idaho, meanwhile, House reps reacted to a Gay-Straight Alliance at Lake City High in Coeur d’Alene this week by passing a bill that requires parental permission to join a club. To each, his own private Idaho.

Art Imitates Life

Stop me if you’ve heard this story line before: “Serial pedophile murders family members and runs off with younger children prompting a citywide manhunt.” Groene family murders? Nah. It’s the teaser line promoting last Tuesday’s episode of “Law & Order: SVU.” Guest star Lou Diamond Phillips portrayed murder suspect Joseph Edward Duncan III, er, I mean pedophile Jeremy Paul Wilson, who, according to the series Web site, “is in possession of a cache of hunting knives, has kidnapped two children and has nothing to lose.” In the show, predator Wilson kidnaps the kids after killing their parents and an older sibling. To complete the parallel with the Groene murders, he slays his male kidnap victim during a violent showdown in a bus terminal. The show does have a happy ending though. The villain is picked off by a police sharpshooter rather than being arrested, jailed, analyzed, prosecuted, cussed, discussed, and given free room and board for life.

Goodwill Ambassador – To Baghdad?

I shoulda smelled a rat when Family Phil Corless announced on his A Family Runs Through It blog that he’d just returned from a whirlwind trip shrouded for days in mystery. On April 1, he finally disclosed that his family had been selected by Binney & Smith to deliver 10 tons of Crayolas, markers and art supplies to Iraqi children. In Baghdad. “This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to show my children a different culture and to establish in them a spirit of charity toward people who have so much less than we do,” blogged Phil. I couldn’t believe Phil would take his two beloved children into the dangerous war zone. But he assured his readers that security was tight and that he felt safe at all times. Plus, he posted a photo of smiling Iraqi children with their crayons. ‘Twas only after I’d mentioned the terrific local feature story to Regional Editor Scott Maben and he’d told the Tuesday morning editors’ huddle about it that the other shoe dropped. After 20 years of odd and lame pranks, Phil’d finally pulled a good April Fools’ joke on someone. I only wished it’d been someone else.

Huckleberries

Speaking of sports paraphernalia, Sherry Adkins, a softballer who works in the S-R Coeur d’Alene bureau, was excited when a package arrived containing a replica of the caps worn by the U.S. softball team when it swept through the 2004 Olympics competition for the gold – an exact duplication right down to the “Made in China” tag inside … So, how would you answer this question, if you were taking a U.S. citizenship test: Who has the power to declare war? Congress? The president? Chief justice of the Supreme Court? Or chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff? Who can blame Egyptian colleague Rasha Madkour for selecting Door No. 2, “the president,” as she prepped for the test online? It may seem that way now. But Congress declares wars … Sign of the Times: “Some people are like Slinkies. Not good 4 much but fun to push down the stairs” – Cenex Cooperative Supply/Post Falls sign … “T’is better to have sung and died than to sing in the oldy tours” – Huckleberries Online commenter “CDADave” re: the news that ‘60s singer Gene “Town Without Pity” Pitney had died.

Parting Shot

Did you hear the one about the bold Wallace Inn waiter who recognized Zag stars Adam Morrison, J.P. Batista, Pierre Marie Altidor-Cespedes and Derek Raivio during a team retreat in the Silver Valley? And asked them to sign his T-shirt for his mother? JoAnne Peterson/Rose Lake was thrilled when she received the gift. Didn’t even think about seeing what the autographed shirt would fetch on eBay. Good thing, too. There oughta be a law against April Fools’ Day.