Nursery helps parents in crisis
At age 3, Adriana Noonan knows no trouble.
The preschooler races through the Children’s Village Crisis Nursery – jumping on beds, rummaging through toys, flipping on lights – like it’s her own home.
In a way, it is.
The little girl in the pink shirt was 4 months old when her distraught mother first brought her to the tidy house off Hanley Avenue in Coeur d’Alene.
Like most parents who seek the services of the emergency child care center, Adriana’s mom had problems that were only made worse by the presence of a baby, said Sheilah Stone-Dorame, executive director of the nonprofit agency.
“It’s better for adults to be living in a car rather than adults and a 4-month-old,” Stone-Dorame said.
And like the other parents of about 19 babies and toddlers housed in the crisis center last year, the worried mother was as surprised as she was relieved to learn about the safe place to take her child.
In fact, organizers of the center said too few people know about the resource that’s available all day, every day to offer respite to parents on the edge.
“Once they use us, they’ll usually refer to us again because they feel safe,” Stone-Dorame said.
Founded in 1996, the center was created the year three young children in Idaho died after being abused by male caregivers. The thinking was that parents – usually mothers – needed a place where they could get the children out of harm’s way, said Tinka Schaffer, Children’s Village development director.
“The idea is, regardless of how you find your life to be right now, do the right thing by the baby,” Schaffer said.
Staffers at the nursery can shelter as many as a dozen children for at least 72 hours – and sometimes much longer, Stone-Dorame said. The crisis nursery is among services at Children’s Village, which housed nearly 130 children from newborn to age 18 in 2005 using an annual budget of nearly $850,000, according to federal tax records.
Mothers – and a few fathers – show up on the front porch with a baby and a diaper bag for a variety of reasons, she said. Some are fleeing domestic abuse. Some are homeless. Some find themselves facing trouble in a new town with no friends or family. Some are simply overwhelmed by the effort of caring for kids.
Kristina Barry, 25, of Coeur d’Alene, has brought her three children – ages 1, 2 and 7 – to the crisis nursery in the past. A former client of Children’s Village, Barry says the center takes the place of an extended family.
“They’ve always been there for me emotionally,” she said. “If I’m just frazzled and need a backup, they’re always there.”
Some parents worry that seeking respite will invite scrutiny from state Child Protective Services workers. But unless there’s evidence of abuse or neglect, staffers are not obligated to involve those officials, Stone-Dorame said.
“I don’t have to tell them if Susie Smith’s kid is here,” she said.
In some cases, mothers who’ve had to serve short stints in jail have been able to house their children at the crisis nursery instead of in foster care, Stone-Dorame said. The mothers typically welcome the chance to know where their children will be and with whom, a contrast to the anonymity of mandated placement.
In other cases, children are brought to the center by law enforcement officials.
“I’ve had babies the police brought here straight out of a methamphetamine home,” Schaffer said. “You have to scrub them down and throw away their blankies.”
Most of the service provided by the crisis nursery is preventive, organizers agreed.
“People don’t want to hurt their kids. They don’t want to neglect them,” Schaffer said.
Still, there were 279 child-abuse referrals in Kootenai County in 2005, according to Tom Shanahan, spokesman for the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare. Nearly 80 of those were confirmed; another 159 had insufficient evidence. Although some parents worry that putting their children in respite care reflects poorly on their abilities, Barry disagrees.
“I’m a better mom because I recognize I need time to myself,” she said. “I don’t need to be taking my stresses out on my kids.”
In Adriana Noonan’s case, the Children’s Village crisis nursery provided more than shelter. The little girl’s mother realized that she was unable to be a good parent. More than a year ago, she asked nursery staff member Mary Noonan to become Adriana’s adopted mother. The change was final in January.