For one Marine’s mom, many happy returns

Mary DeLateur’s final wait for her son, a Marine corporal, lasted seven hours. Not so long, compared with other times of waiting. When Mary brought Andrew into the world 21 years ago, she labored for 18 hours.

When Andrew was sent to Iraq for the first time, in March 2003, Mary lit a candle in the window each night. She prayed and waited. Her son returned safely home.

When Andrew was sent to Iraq for the second time, in February 2004, Mary waited along with dozens of family and friends who kept e-mail vigil with her. Andrew returned to yellow ribbons and welcome-home reader boards at his Millwood-area home.

When Andrew was sent to Iraq for a third time, in August 2005, dozens kept virtual vigil again, but a few people withdrew from Mary, afraid Andrew would not return.

Mary refused to let fear take her over. She crossed her arms over her heart and prayed in gratitude for the son given to her. She prayed her memories of him, including the day the 3-year-old Andrew climbed into a bin of uncooked rice. When caught, he said to his mother, “I just had to do this. I’ve been wanting to for a long time.”

After praying the memories, Mary let go of any illusion of control over her son’s fate. Mary, 51, then engaged in active waiting.

She had placed her teaching career on hold for 20 years to raise her three boys. After her youngest, Emmett, went off to the University of Michigan last fall, Mary enrolled at Eastern Washington University. She is working toward a master’s degree in social work, and Wednesday, she’ll begin an internship at the Spokane Vet Center in the Spokane Valley.

Andrew risked so much to become a Marine. His example freed Mary to risk a new career. His decision to enlist and serve led directly to Mary’s plan to work with veterans still carrying the physical and emotional burdens of war.

And now, to that final wait. At 3 in the afternoon last Sunday, she and her husband, Tony, along with their oldest son, also Tony, waited at Camp Pendleton in California. They waited with 150 family members attached to the Weapons Company of the First Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion.

A Marine officer announced the young men’s plane had landed in Bangor, Maine. Mary remembered hearing about older veterans who greet every homecoming plane that lands there. Indeed, they met her son’s plane, too.

Mary waited with young mothers with babies who had never met their fathers. The families bonded over Mexican casseroles, hot dogs and cookies.

The families waited several more hours. Word finally came that the plane had touched down at March Air Reserve Base in California. The young men then boarded buses. About two hours later, they arrived at Camp Pendleton, but the wait continued as they surrendered their weapons.

At 10 p.m., the families moved outside. Giant spotlights lighted a roadway. The families saw their young men, their desert fatigues illuminated by the lights, marching in formation toward them.

The two Tonys spotted Andrew first. “Mare, over there,” her husband said. Mary followed his voice and soon fell into the hug of her son. She cried and laughed at the same time. And thus, Andrew returned for the third and final time. He will finish his four-year Marine commitment in late summer; he hopes then to enroll at Gonzaga University.

Later, in the hotel room, Mary felt an incredible quiet inside. Her son again shared with her the same U.S. soil. Her mother’s heart was full. She slept in peace once more.