Schooled in single malt science

George Thorogood and “Swingers” taught me all I used to know about Scotch.

I’d pour single malts over rocks, drink shots of Scotch alongside Bourbon and beer, and when I had the money, “any Glen” would do.

But rigorous research this past month told me something: I know absolutely nothing about Scotch whisky, including that it’s not spelled “whiskey” when it comes from Scotland.

Still, nothing could have prepared me for the tasting room in Bruce Ridley’s basement: imagine single malts and snifters crowding nearly every nook and cranny save the door, the floor and two lawn chairs.

He keeps an average of 160 single malts in his South Hill home. Compare that to the meager 41 the Washington State Liquor Control Board sells in state stores, but not all stores stock.

Folks travel from across the world to attend the 56-year-old state industrial appellate court judge’s annual Burns Bash, a single malt party named for Scotland bard Robert Burns.

Who better than an expert to distill a young punk’s wort of information into palatable single malt knowledge?

Aged 10 years

The Scotch family includes three types of whisky: single malts, vatted malts and blends.

A single malt comes from one distillery. Vatted malts are blended singles from various distillers.

But blends are a mix of single malts and grain alcohol, rather than pure single malt whiskies.

“This is one of the first real great tricks in advertising,” Ridley said. “When they called it a blended whisky, everybody thought it was three or four or five whiskies, and really it was moonshine with a percentage of whisky in it.”

To blend, according to scotchwhisky.com, is to create a new product by mixing whiskies from different distilleries. The outcome, unfortunately, is not always good.

“Cutty Sark is 18 percent single malts, which means it’s 82 percent grain alcohol,” Ridley said, adding that top-shelf blends have a better ratio. “The more grain alcohol and less spirits, the nastier it is.”

To start with single malts, first decide on a favorite type of wine, Ridley said.

“If they like white wines, we’ll start off with a really light, delicate whisky that isn’t too taxing on the palate,” Ridley said, recommending the Speyburn 10 year ($21.95, Washington State Liquor Control Board) or the Glenmorangie 10 ($45.95, WSLCB).

Red wine lovers should start with a bigger whisky, such as the Dalmore 12 ($33.95, WSLCB), Ridley said.

Stay away from any bottles without a listed age. Those usually contain young, harsh whiskies.

Drink it neat (straight) or with a few drops of distilled or soft water. Never pour good Scotch over rocks. Ice dulls the flavor and aroma, Ridley said.

Aged 15 years

So now you like Scotch. But you still have no idea why.

If you want to know, find the right glass. Ridley suggests a “cheater’s glass,” a 70-ounce brandy snifter with an opening between 3 3/8 and 3 5/8 inches.

A whisky’s signature has three elements: nose, taste and finish.

Pour an ounce or so of Scotch in the glass, add a couple drops of water, swirl it around and tip the glass horizontally.

The whisky nose arranges itself in cake-like layers at the mouth of the glass by weight of the esters, or alcohol vapors.

Start at the top, or front, of the opening and work slowly to the bottom, taking the scents in one breath.

You’ll find floral notes at the top, followed by herbal notes, then sometimes cinnamon or vanilla and so on, with heavier esters gathering at the bottom. Poorly made whiskies, Ridley said, will have a burnt copper scent at the bottom.

Take two or three minutes between each sip to get the finish: The heavier oils disperse at the back of your throat, revealing more flavors, Ridley said.

You may notice a smoky quality from the peat, which distilleries use to fuel their fires.

“They let smoke come in, and just like when you barbecue with mesquite, you get a totally different flavor,” Ridley said. Each Scotch has unique qualities depending on the region, because different plants and other elements are crushed into the peat.

Malts from the Islay (eye-la) region, such as Laphroaig ($49.95, WSLCB) and Lagavulin ($63.95, WSLCB), which a couple of my drinking comrades count among their favorites, are known for extreme peatiness.

For more tasting tips, www.scotchwhisky.com features an extensive walkthrough with graphics and illustrations.

Aged 30 years

If you’re like me, you’ve arrived here feeling as if you’ve been led wide-eyed into a huge new world, but can’t afford the rent.

But if you have the cabbage to spend, travel is the way to go.

Washington State Liquor Control Board and Idaho State Liquor Dispensary stores are not very diverse in selection, so if you want a nice bottle of Caol Ila or Glendullan, Ridley said, you’ll have to head to San Francisco, Chicago or another big city in a non-board state.

Or just take regular trips to Scotland, as Ridley does. Maybe you’ll bump into him and he’ll take you on a distillery tour.

Don’t be surprised if, by that time, you’re part of a loyal following of Scotch enthusiasts who spend hundreds of dollars – thousands, even – on single bottles, only to trade them like baseball cards.

George Thorogood never wrote a song about that.