The Slice: Cracking up at neighbors

Nicknames for neighbors have been inspired by seemingly everything from an obsession with topiary (Mr. and Mrs. Trimmer and the Little Trimmers) to one man’s habit of bending over and revealing the area below his lower back (use your imagination).

One guy never seen except when driving into or pulling out of his garage in his black truck is known as “Batman.”

A couple once overheard discussing the elegant fare they planned to serve at a party are known as “The Lobsters.”

Some folks who never seemed to come out of the house on sunny days were called “The Mushroom People.”

A family that always seems to be working on parade floats or preparing for festivals is known as “The Carnies.”

And another reader said his family still privately refers to one person down the block as “The Woman Without a Man” because that’s how another neighbor, a 5-year-boy, described her when they first moved in.

“Read all about it: Carol Nelson’s second-grade class at Hayden Lake School agreed to act as newspaper consultants. They were charged with planning content for the daily of the future.

The kids said they would want to see coverage of crime, new businesses, children’s activities, fingers found in fast-food chili, sports, the lives of poor people (so readers can help them), advertising that highlights upcoming sales, fishing, volcanoes, weather, Australia, explorers’ discoveries and the lives of bats.

“Advice for a 50-year-old man contemplating getting a bicycle: The counsel ranged from “Go for it” to “Forget it.”

Sandra Blackwell said the big thing is to go to a bike shop. “To make sure the bike you get fits your needs and, more importantly, fits your body.”

A couple of readers said selecting a comfortable seat is the key. Another argued that bike riding is too hard on the prostate regardless of the seat.

And Dick Powers, 69, passed along the advice his son gave him. “Get a fat tire one-speed, buy a helmet, and don’t try any of those tricks you see the kids doing.”

“Our tent might have been the worst in the history of Northwest camping for the simple reason that … :

“We pitched it in a bit of a low spot, and as the rain came down in the middle of the night, our tent filled up.” — Elaine Roach

“It was pitched on the side of a hill, and I kept sliding off the end of my air mattress.” — Joyce Atkinson

“It didn’t come with a ‘No Bears’ sign.” — Judy Chapin

Hmmm. A couple of those sound like user error.

“Addressing the issue: “I live at 215 Lakeview Drive in Coeur d’Alene,” wrote Jack Rogers. “My daughter and her family live at 209 Lakeview Drive in Summerville, S.C. Is that close enough?”

“Today’s Slice question: What business in the Spokane area has the coolest sign?