Councilman throws down the gauntlet
Good morning, class. Your assignment today is to write Tom Stenger and tell him what you think of him. (Addresses listed below.)
As you’ll soon see, the Tacoma City Councilman has definite opinions about us.
“Maybe you’re too young, but Spokane was once considered an important city,” Stenger huffed in a recent e-mail. “You’re now the ‘Capital of the Inland Backwater.’ “
That’s “Jewel of the Inland Backwater” to you, sir!
Stenger’s grousing about Spokane’s return to Washington’s second-largest city status inspired my Tacoma We Care Package.
If you recall, we bumped Tacoma out of second after our City Council voted to annex 207 acres southeast of Spokane. That added 1,640 residents to our population.
“I think this is an act of desperation by Spokane,” Stenger told the Tacoma News Tribune. “I’m sorry for them.”
To thank the councilman for his pity, I assembled a box of Spokane-related items that included: Lilac-scented air spray, a sympathy card, a “Spokane Gold” chocolate bar and a trophy topped with the gold rear end of a horse.
I sent the box to the Tacoma City Hall in care of Mayor Bill Baarsma. Before it arrived, however, I e-mailed Baarsma and Stenger to let them know no real ill will was intended.
“Hope you have a sense of humor,” I wrote.
Baarsma does.
“I look forward to your care package,” the mayor responded. “Of course, when the next chapter is written we will be sending one to you in kind. Spokane’s a great city.”
Stenger’s response was a bit barbed. Like a harpoon.
“Yes, you’re from the ‘second-worst newspaper’ in the county, as Harry Truman called it,” he wrote.
What a perversion of the facts. Allow me to quote from our June 10, 1948, story detailing President Truman’s visit to the Lilac City. “Despite the announced ‘nonpolitical’ character of his tour, the President took time out when first greeted by the press to assert The Spokesman-Review is ‘one of the two worst papers in the country.’ “
See? Truman never specified whether he held us or the Chicago Tribune in the lowest regard. Which means we very well could have been the president’s first worst. Plus Truman said, “COUNTRY,” not county.
I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’ve still got Spokane County locked up.
Stenger then went on to lambaste “Betty Cowles” and the River Park Square parking garage fiasco (Sigh. It’s Betsy, Tom.)
He should have stopped while he was ahead. After all, the public loves it when we newsmongers take a beating.
Stenger, alas, was only warming up.
“Why is your per capita income so low? Is it lack of IQ because the smart people leave at age 18 and never return?”
Now you’re getting personal, Tom. Who told you about my kids?
“How do you feel about the county’s intellectual center being at Cheney, seat of the least of our state colleges?”
Hey, just because I’ve called EWU a high school with ashtrays doesn’t mean you can. I went there and I kid because I care.
“Have the locals ever realized why Amtrak runs through only at night? That station and the area around it sure is a dump.”
When is the last time you visited Spokane, Stenger? You’re obviously unaware of the great strides we’ve made. Most of our downtown buildings have flush toilets now.
Call me paranoid, but I have visions of Councilman Stenger hopping an Amtrak and slipping into Spokane some night. Then he’ll head for my house wearing a hockey mask and carrying a meat cleaver.
We don’t want that to happen. So send your best Spokane howdy to the councilman at Thomas.Stenger@csi.tacoma.wa.us and cc your note to me, at the address below. Or send a letter to the Tacoma City Hall, 747 Market St., Suite 1200, Tacoma, WA 98402.
Be sure to ask how his horse’s fanny is.