Demand in-laws’ explanation for outrageous act

Dear Annie: Four years ago, my husband and I moved back to his hometown so we could be closer to his parents, who are getting older. We also wanted our children to know their grandparents better.

At the time, we had a lot of things in storage, including photograph albums, baby clothes, and items that belonged to my mother and were precious to me. My in-laws have a large storage unit on their property and said we were welcome to use it.

My in-laws left town last week and asked us to keep an eye on their place. Yesterday, my husband and children returned from my in-laws’ with a small vase and a Santa Claus that I recognized as mine. The items were blackened and charred. The kids said they had found them in Grandma and Grandpa’s burn pile.

I thought our things were safe, but obviously my in-laws have been burning our belongings. I cried all day, wondering what other precious items were destroyed. I don’t understand how they could do such a horrible and heartless thing. I’ve tried to maintain a good relationship with my in-laws even though I know they don’t like me.

They criticize me to my children, and until now, I have said nothing. My husband can hardly believe his parents would be so cruel, and he doesn’t know how to handle it.

Should I confront my in-laws? Maybe if they see this letter in your column, they will recognize themselves and I won’t have to. – Sad Daughter-in-Law

Dear Daughter-in-Law: We are appalled by your in-laws’ behavior and cannot think of any excuse good enough to justify such disregard.

First, you need to check the remaining boxes in the storage building and see what is missing. Then, you and your husband should bring the charred Santa and vase to your in-laws’ home when they return. Tell them where they were found and ask them point-blank to explain themselves. We hope nothing else has been burned, and we trust you will remove the boxes from your in-laws’ property immediately.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Buried in West Virginia,” who said he recently moved to a perfectly lovely rural area, but one of the neighbors uses his yard as a dumping ground for all kinds of junk. “Buried” found it an eyesore. This is typical of many people who move into such areas. That “junk” was undoubtedly there before he moved in.

Many new owners have paid very inflated prices for their “lovely, rural property” and expect their neighbors to submit to their demands. Local governments do not have the financial resources to enforce laws controlling viewscape problems. – Local Upstate New York Town Supervisor

Dear Supervisor: We heard from plenty of rural residents on this. Read on:

From Highlands Ranch, Colo.: “Buried” sounds like the people who move next to a farm and complain about the smell of cow manure. Were they blind when they evaluated the property? People live in rural areas partly because they don’t want to put up with oppressive homeowners’ associations or restrictive zoning laws.

Indiana: Country people prefer practical to pretty. We are often independent folks who might be fairly outraged if you try to tell us what to do with our own land. Tell them to plant a hedge if they want to hide the neighbor’s yard.

Marseilles, Ill.: I was once the lone farm out here, but one by one the yuppies have moved in from the Chicago suburbs and built huge homes and want things to be just like they were in the ‘burbs. I was here first. If one of those newbies rang my bell and told me how to keep my front yard, I’d show them the bottom side of my boot.