West welcome, but uninvited

As gays and lesbians in the Inland Northwest gather for the annual OutSpokane Pride festivities this week, many wonder about the private life of the city’s most public official.

Some sympathize with the torment Mayor Jim West might have experienced leading a secret life.

Others remain perplexed and angry over his apparent duplicity – how West, despite his sexual orientation, used his political career to quash legislation that could have protected gays, lesbians, bisexuals and the transgendered.

“Clearly he is riddled with internalized homophobia, which is most likely the reason why he has been so inappropriate in behavior and has shown a lack of integrity in the manner he has treated the rest of (us),” said Christopher Lawrence, a gay activist in Spokane.

West himself has said he “led a life of hell.”

“I know the rumors (of sexual orientation) have been out there for a long time,” he told the newspaper on May 8. “It has been hell. I didn’t date. I was celibate.”

Some among the area’s gay community say they had evidence or had long suspected that West was gay or perhaps bisexual, but they did not want to “out” the man.

“Outing someone is just one of those really sacred things in our community,” said Bonnie Aspen, a local business owner who serves on the board of directors for OutSpokane. “Since so many of us have lost friends, family and support systems, we’re not liable to throw rocks.”

Organizers of this year’s OutSpokane Pride Parade and Rainbow Festival discussed the possibility of inviting West to Saturday’s event, which is expected to draw a record turnout. But in the end, no one made the phone call to City Hall.

They won’t turn West away if he shows up and would even ask him to speak, Aspen said.

“He would benefit from not being separate from a community that he has gone out of his way to hurt and disparage,” she said. “I’m sorry for his tortured life right now,” she said, but since he hasn’t apologized for his anti-gay policies, they chose not to formally invite him.

Marlene Feist, the city’s public affairs officer, said West does not plan to attend the parade.

Like other segments of the community, opinions on West and the scandal surrounding his office vary among lesbians, gays and their advocates. Some don’t even consider him part of the gay community, nor do they want him to join them. Others, however, are willing to extend an olive branch and give West a chance to defend himself against allegations of sexual abuse and using the trappings of his office to date young men.

“I feel sorry for him – he needs his day in court,” said Lorin Miller, who is transgendered.

Having grown up in Spokane and coming from the same generation as the mayor, the 59-year-old Miller said she knows that being gay, bisexual or transgendered in this community “is a scary place to be.” For some, hiding in the closet may seem like the only option in the face of prejudice and discrimination. “Living in a conservative community like Spokane, (West’s) only recourse was to be closeted,” she said.

Miller, for instance, was born male but said she knew from an early age that she was meant to be female. She was too afraid to tell anyone, including her parents and the woman she was married to for 20 years. It was only three years ago that she made the transition.

“Anybody who finds themselves in this position, it’s not a fun place,” Miller emphasized. “It’s not a choice.”

Coming out is also a difficult process that doesn’t happen all at once, said Sharon O’Brien of Spokane. For many gays, lesbians and others, it is something they have to do every day, she said.

Yet while O’Brien sympathizes with the mayor’s apparent struggle over his sexuality, she also pointed out that West made it even harder for lesbians and gays who wanted to live an “open, fulfilling and honest life.”

A mental health therapist who has organized rallies in support of gay marriage, O’Brien said that West promoted the current “don’t ask, don’t tell” mentality. “Because he hid it, it was OK,” she said. “But the repercussions come when you refuse to hide in the shadows or stay in the closet.”

O’Brien also noted that many in the gay community are also hesitant to support West because of the allegations of sexual abuse against minors. “We all agree that’s totally inappropriate behavior,” she said.

Spokane’s mayor could have been a role model for gay youth, but instead, chose to hide that part of himself, said Ryan Oelrich, who runs a local support group for young, gay men called Quest. Oelrich has accused West of sexually harassing him.

“Think of all the good that he could have done had he been true to himself,” said Oelrich.

Several people in Spokane’s gay community have pointed to the example of Mike Rundle, the former Lawrence, Kan., mayor who announced he was gay before leaving office.

“It is with dignity and pride that I acknowledge that I have been Lawrence mayor and, in all likelihood, Lawrence’s first gay mayor,” he said in April during a City Hall gathering in which his voice cracked with emotion.

During a phone interview this week, Rundle – who still serves as a commissioner and has been in public office for more than 10 years – said he chose to go public because of a recent constitutional amendment passed by Kansas voters to ban same-sex marriage.

His decision was also influenced by his hope that he could contribute to the “greater good,” by helping people accept all human beings, regardless of their differences. “It’s harder for people to say, ‘But he’s gay or she’s a lesbian,’ and let their prejudice continue because they know you as a human being and a public official through your service.”

Rumors of Rundle’s sexuality surfaced in 1987, when he first ran for public office, but he never made it an issue during his campaigns. And although he rarely discussed his personal life – he’s been with his partner for 13 years – he also did his part to support laws that promoted civil rights for all, including gays, lesbians, bisexuals and the transgendered. During his first year in office, Rundle was one of only two commissioners in Lawrence, a city of about 85,000 people, who voted to add sexual orientation as part of the town’s anti-discrimination ordinance.

“It’s hard for me to comprehend,” said Rundle, when asked about West’s anti-gay history in the Legislature. “It shows some sort of fear, such high degree of shame and self-hatred.”

West, however, has said that he was simply representing his constituents. “I wasn’t pretending to be a conservative, I am a conservative,” he said during a “Today” show interview that was televised nationally.

After announcing he was gay, Rundle said he felt as though a door had opened for him, and he has since received an overwhelming amount of community support.

“I can recommend coming out,” said Rundle, a member of the International Network of Lesbian and Gay Officials and other organizations that support the work of gay people who are both elected and appointed to public office.

Living a secret life can be hell, acknowledged Aspen, who was a closeted public school teacher in the mid-1980s. She never told her co-workers about her longtime partner, Willow Williams. “It was like taking my heart out and putting it in my glove compartment,” she said, describing how it was impossible for her to talk about her personal life.

“That’s what homophobia does – it takes away your self-esteem,” she said. “Keeping things secret took up so much of my life energy.”

Oelrich said he hopes the scandal surrounding the mayor won’t set back the image of gays in Spokane. “I think people are realizing that he’s not a suitable example of what gay men are like,” he said, emphasizing that he believes the mayor should step down as the city’s leader.

Although a few people have felt emboldened to come out in recent weeks as a result of the West revelations, others said it could have a detrimental effect on people who are considering stepping out of the closet. West, himself, has described his experience as a “brutal outing.”

Aspen and others who are openly gay, however, say that just because they speak frankly about their sexuality doesn’t mean that being gay is the only thing that matters to them. It’s only one aspect of their lives, said Oelrich – it doesn’t define who they are.

Asked if Spokane was ready to have a gay mayor, O’Brien responded: “Spokane is ready for a mayor who can get things accomplished and who just happens to be gay.”