No room for making judgments when it comes to friendship
A cardinal rule of mine was broken at a party I hosted over the weekend. It’s OK for me to complain about people I love, but it’s not OK for others to do the same. It’s disrespectful and judgmental, two traits I find hard to tolerate. We’ve all had people in our lives judge us or our choices at some point, but when it comes from our friends – the people we choose to trust the most – it can hurt even more.
So was the case last Saturday when a friend I was throwing a party for decided to express her thoughts on my ex. She used words such as schmuck, self- centered and too nerdy for her taste, before I got up and walked away. Normally I would have said something there and then, but since it was a party in her honor, I chose to leave it for another time.
As hurt as I felt by her comments, it shined a brighter light on the friends I cherish most and why.
Our girlfriends act as trusted sounding boards when the men in our lives are being you-know- what. They help keep us sane and strong. Thank God for mine – I would be lost without them.
The difference between casual and close friends is how they respect us, our choices and the other people who are close to us. I’ve learned this from my closest friend.
We learn and grow from every situation and are closer because of it – it’s the truest friendship I have. I’ve learned to listen and understand, and to be there no matter what. This is what separates the friends who come and go in our lives from the ones who stay close to our hearts forever.
I’ll give my girlfriend the respect our friendship deserves and be honest about my hurt. She’s a good person, one who has brought much light into my life; she just made a bad choice.
Although I’m not a fan of rules per se, this is one that I must stand by – don’t badmouth my people. They are a reflection of me and what I cherish most – their gifts and their faults.
Feeling angry and hurt is easy, but you can’t grow from negatives. It’s better to turn them into positives, rather than allow them to destroy our good nature.
It won’t be easy speaking to my friend, since honesty is so often the road less traveled. But I’ve learned that every challenge is best served with honesty. It’s harder and takes more guts, but the reward is worth it. This is my cardinal rule because the people closest to me have set the bar so high; I expect the best because I learned from the best.
Our journey of acceptance and understanding did not come without hard work, honesty and, at times, heartbreak. But I wouldn’t trade any of it for where we are today. They don’t let me get away with much and are constantly inspiring me to do better.
And when I mess up, they will be there to catch me when I fall, never saying “I told you so.” This is why I love my friends so much, because they accept the whole me, and, in turn, I’ve realized that the only way to have a true friend is to be one.