‘Queer’ spinoff deserves early demise
Proof of cloning’s dark side can be found on “Queer Eye for the Straight Girl” (10 p.m., Bravo). As the title implies, this new “Queer” offers life-changing makeover advice to women. Unfortunately, this charmless product extension also foists a whole new Fab Five on unsuspecting viewers. The results are not pretty.
This new Faux Five (including a stylishly grim woman named Honey Labrador) share none of the wit and chemistry of the original crew. They spend too much time trying to act wacky and spontaneous but appear to be playing strictly for the camera, often at the expense of their style-challenged subject. (Did I mention that this new series is shot in and around Hollywood?)
The innuendo-laced banter also seems cruder and more forced than on the original.
It doesn’t help that the pilot begins in frenzied confusion. We’re never introduced to the new players or, for that matter, their first assignment. They simply burst into the woman’s messy apartment and start throwing stuff around and making desperately raunchy jokes.
There isn’t one funny moment on the hourlong pilot. But it’s worth watching just to see how a greedy network can take a good show and churn out something that’s such a dreadfully, thoughtlessly unoriginal copy. It’s hideous.
Bravo has done its corporate cousins at NBC a huge favor. At least now “Joey” is no longer the lamest spinoff of the year. Please cancel this soon, before it drags down the entire franchise.
The offbeat talk show “The Kumars at No. 42” (10 p.m., BBC America) enters its second season. For the uninitiated, “Kumars” combines elements of old-fashioned sitcom, improvisational banter and legitimate interview.
The Kumars are London-based Indian immigrants who have turned their home into a television studio. Young Sanjeev (Sanjeev Bhaskar) attempts to portray himself as a swinging host, but he’s forever reminded that he’s a rather dimwitted young man working for his father (Vincent Ebrahim) and living with his parents and feisty grandmother (Meera Syal).
While the situation is contrived and farcical, the guests are very real, and they play along with the antics in the best tradition of such North American classics as “Fernwood 2Nite” and “SCTV.” Tonight’s guests include Jools Holland (of the band Squeeze) and the immortal singing sex symbol Tom Jones. While laced with British pop-cultural references, “Kumars” is charming, endearing and surprising.
“Meeting Osama bin Laden” (10 p.m., KSPS) presents a biography of the Al Qaeda leader from 12 overlapping interviews with journalists, teachers and former colleagues.
Essam Deraz fought beside Bin Laden against the Russians in Afghanistan. It was there that Bin Laden’s reputation changed from that of a rich donor to a military leader and strategist.
“Bin Laden was admired,” said Deraz, “because he could have lived in palaces … but he came to live in camps and caves.” Others recall Bin Laden’s growing radicalism and loathing for the West, and what he perceived to be a puppet regime in Saudi Arabia.
Broadway stars Kristin Chenoweth and Patti Lupone join opera talents Paul Groves and Sir Thomas Allen on “Leonard Bernstein’s ‘Candide’ in Concert” on “Great Performances” (7 p.m., KSPS).
Other highlights
Scheduled on “60 Minutes” (8 p.m., CBS): A Ugandan student adjusts to her U.S. prep school.
Shannon and Boone’s secret past is revealed on “Lost” (8 p.m., ABC).
While in New Hampshire, Josh clashes with Santos (Jimmy Smits) on “The West Wing”(9 p.m., NBC).
To break a code, Sydney must romance a killer on “Alias” (9 p.m., ABC).
Rap lyrics may reveal the identity of a hip-hop star’s killer on “Law & Order” (10 p.m., NBC).
A neat freak finds herself “mother” to a spoiled teenage slob on “Wife Swap” (10 p.m., ABC).
Cult choice
More than 50 stars of stage and screen do their bit for the war effort in the 1943 romance/variety show “Stage Door Canteen” (5 p.m., TCM).
Series notes
Basketball court competitions on “Swimsuit Model Search” (8 p.m., NBC) … Kelso’s crank call on “That ‘70s Show” (8 p.m., Fox) … On the bus to Maryland on “The Road to Stardom” (8 p.m., UPN) … A stolen manuscript on “Smallville” (8 p.m., WB).
Wrestle-mania on “Quintuplets” (8:30 p.m., Fox).
Children only respond to common sense uttered in British accents on “Nanny 911” (9 p.m., Fox) … Key evidence emerges on “Kevin Hill” (9 p.m., UPN) … Only the desperate watch “Big Man on Campus” (9 p.m., WB) … Murder stalks the kennel circuit on “CSI: NY” (10 p.m., CBS).