Hitch-slapped
The title character in “Hitch” is a courtship auteur who teaches male clients how to entice the women they fancy. He guides his disciples through the first three dates, transforming them from hapless suitors into smooth operators.
The picture itself is as slick, urbane and insightful as its protagonist, but it commits one transgression Hitch would surely chastise. Clocking in at nearly two hours, the story overstays its welcome.
Jokes linger past the point of being funny and the narrative rhythm is choppy, as two separate storylines unspool in tandem. If someone like Hitch advised studios on how to make audiences swoon, he would warn against revealing all the biggest laughs in the trailer.
Despite needing a bit of grooming, “Hitch,” which is directed by Andy Tennant (“Sweet Home Alabama”), has a quartet of likable lead performers and a number of amusing set pieces.
After delivering a rather dour performance in last summer’s “I, Robot,” star Will Smith returns to his old wisecracking self. As Hitch, Smith is in suave, self-aware hyperdrive. Anyone who finds his cheeky demeanor irritating should steer clear of this one.
Hitch talks to the camera in the opening moments of the film, assuring audiences: “No matter what, no matter when, no matter who, any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.”
There’s a “Sex and the City” vibe to these early scenes, as we see random Manhattanites fumbling their way through flirtations while Hitch supplies pithy voiceover commentary. He earns his keep helping clients find love everlasting, but he is happily unattached, at least until he encounters a jaded tabloid journalist, Sara (Eva Mendes).
An entire film could be built around Hitch’s sudden clumsiness around Sara, as he is plagued with mishaps involving food allergies, jet skis and Google searches. But instead of concentrating on their romance, the picture follows another couple in progress.
“King of Queens” star Kevin James makes his big screen debut playing Albert, a shy accountant with a crush on an heiress, Allegra (Amber Valletta). He turns to Hitch for aid in wooing her but proceeds to break every one of his coach’s rules, whether it’s bursting into hopelessly unfunky moves on the dance floor or missing his cue for a first kiss.
Smith and James have a nice rapport, portraying characters at opposite ends of the smarm spectrum. Their female co-stars hold their own, particularly Mendes, who earns as many laughs as Smith. It’s a shame that the punch of their performances is diminished by the film’s structural weakness.
Problematic as it is, “Hitch” is still a good bet for Valentine’s Day outings. It is smarter than your average romantic comedy and boasts some genuine pathos toward the end. The movie certainly has enough commendable qualities to earn referrals from dating gurus.