For Fonda, Hanoi, Henry and helplessness seem so far away

At age 67, Jane Fonda is single, a “feminist Christian,” a liberal who loved “Fahrenheit 9-11” and a sentimentalist who still cries when she watches “On Golden Pond.”

She is organized, planning to live to 90, regularly checking e-mail on her brand new Blackberry.

She has made her first movie in 15 years, “Monster-in-Law,” a comedy with Jennifer Lopez that comes out May 13. She has also written a memoir, “My Life So Far,” which was released Tuesday.

Over the past 40 years, millions have watched her evolution from the sex bomb of “Barbarella” to her radical activism to her workout tapes and her marriage to media giant Ted Turner.

Fonda says she first thought of the book as she neared age 60, what she calls the start of her “third act.”

“It’s not dress rehearsal,” she says. “This is it. And for me to understand what my third needs to be, I have to understand my first two acts.”

Her memoir tries to make sense of how a two-time Academy Award winner so blessed with talent, so adventurous in spirit, could otherwise appear so helpless – suffering from eating disorders, subjecting herself to breast implants (now removed) and to marriages in which the man’s wishes came first.

She is still close friends with Turner, and looks alarmed when an e-mail on her Blackberry informs her that he has recently broken his collarbone.

“It was a fabulous 10 years,” she says of her time with Turner, whom she divorced in 2001.

She also has been married to French filmmaker Roger Vadim, who died in 2000, and to activist Tom Hayden.

They were relationships undermined by emotional disconnection and Fonda’s sometimes baffling willingness to humiliate herself – most notably, participating in sexual threesomes at Vadim’s request.

She remembers hitting Turner on the head with a car phone after learning he had been unfaithful to her, and being told by Hayden on her 51st birthday that he was in love with another woman.

“I don’t blame them for the failure of the marriages,” she says. “I take as much responsibility for that.”

Her mother, the socialite Frances Brokaw, killed herself when Fonda was 12. Only years later did she learn about the suicide; her family had told her the cause of death was a heart attack.

Father Henry Fonda was cold, aloof, with a cutting humor very much like the cranky patriarch’s in “On Golden Pond,” the film in which they co-starred.

But for millions, her identity is not as a daughter, or workout pioneer, or even movie star queen. She remains “Hanoi Jane,” the rich-kid rebel who visited North Vietnam in 1972, called U.S. soldiers “war criminals” and was photographed riding a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun – later saying she simply sat down on it without thinking about what she was doing.

Fonda has apologized for the photo, but not for opposing the war.

“I carry this heavy in my heart,” she writes. “I always will.”

The birthday bunch

Actor Harry Morgan (“Dragnet,” “M.A.S.H.”) is 90. Actor Omar Sharif is 73. Actor Steven Seagal is 54. Singer-actress Mandy Moore is 21. Actor Haley Joel Osment (“The Sixth Sense”) is 17.