Shop owner believes he’s found his man

Yeah, Nekalaos Kalatzes had an idea who might have done him wrong when he found his Unlimited Kustom Paint shop ransacked several weeks ago. One of his cuss-tomers. Follow me here: A large toolbox was pushed over against the wall. Two motorcycles and a cart with painting equipment were knocked over. A garbage can was emptied onto the floor. Also, two vehicles in the shop were keyed on all four sides. The damage estimate was about $6,600. Nothing was missing. So revenge appeared to be the motive. And Nekalaos knew someone in the revenge biz – a guy who couldn’t pay his bill and threatened to “screw everything up” if Nekalaos followed through on a threat to paint his car pink. Nekalaos did. Dunno if there’s a moral to this story. But it’s safe to say the paint shop doesn’t like bounced checks.

An artless dodger

My editorial criticizing a proposed monument at Nelson, B.C., to U.S. draft dodgers of the Vietnam War era got under one local resister’s skin. Although Nelson has distanced itself from the proposal, Dudley Do-Dodge left a phone message – anonymous, of course – saying he’d be proud to “stand by that monument with my fist up in the air.” Quoth: “I was one of those people, and I’m (blankety-blank) proud of it; I wouldn’t have served in Vietnam if my mother’s life was on the line. What a (blankety-blank) awful war it was, and I am proud.” Dudley’s mother must be, ahem, proud, too. Hope Sonny Dearest isn’t sole beneficiary on her life insurance policy.

Sermon from the rez

Money can’t buy me love, according to the Beatles. Nor can it buy me happiness, according to third-grader Amanda S. of the Worley-Plummer School District. Writing in the district newsletter, Amanda said: “You don’t need money to make you happy! Some rich people aren’t happy. They are scared because it might get stolen. I like to be happy rather than rich. You don’t have to worry about getting new clothes ruined. Money is not fun. Family and friends are better!”

Poet’s corner

“An All-Star who’s modest,/Not cocky and pushy,/Best Japanese import/Since smoked salmon sushi” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Ichiro”) … And: “Just kick in six mil from/Your pile of cashola,/And we’ll name the whole place/The Library Lola” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Library Funding Proposal”) … After all those years hopin’/prayin’/beggin’ for a new high school, the Boundary County School District can’t be blamed for being excited now that the new school is under construction. But was it necessary to include a photo of the urinals in the boy’s bathroom as part of its Web site tour? ( www.bcsd101.com and click on “South Wing.”)

Huckleberries

Among the special guests at Sarah Polk’s marriage Sept. 23 was 2002 Miss Pennsylvania USA Nicole Bigham. Sarah, daughter of Kerri Thoresen of Post Falls, and Nicole became bosom buddies, as Anne of Green Gables might say, at the 1994 Miss Teen USA Pageant in Biloxi, Miss. They were thrown together as roommates while representing Idaho and Pennsylvania, respectively. Now, Sarah has taken Matthew Stehno as a roommate – till death do them part … Can’t think of a better name for a convicted drug smuggler than that Indiana guy arrested by the ISP on the interstate near CdA: Dallas P. Stoner? … Oops: The Berry Picker who viewed the Travel Channel feature about Duane Hagadone’s mega-yacht, the Lady Lola, got it all right except for the brand of wooden speedboat used to recover golf balls hit into the drink from LL’s deck. It’s a Stan-Craft, not a Chris-Craft … On that domestic battery case involving ex-Kootenai County prosecutor Glen Walker Oct. 2, the sheriff’s report concludes with a Deputy Dawg asking Walker to sign the citation. Walker: “What happens if I don’t sign it?” Deputy: You’ll be arrested. No further questions, your honor.

Parting shot

CdA police dispatch Oct. 1: “Report of public sex on Appleway near the Radio Shack, and it’s still going on.” That’ll get ‘em out of the doughnut shops.