Limit toys he can play with
Dear Annie: I am a married mother of a 3-year-old boy. He is the only grandchild on either side of the family. My problem is my mother-in-law, a widow on a fixed income, and my sister-in-law, who is married but has no children.
My in-laws like to control everything. When my own sister planned a baby shower for me, my sister-in-law informed me that she would have no part of it because it was “too early.” I was seven months’ pregnant at the time. The morning of the shower, my mother-in-law told my husband she would not attend because she did not receive a formal invitation, even though we had asked her verbally. I ended up with two showers, one given by my sister and a larger one by my in-laws.
My son’s birthday is rapidly approaching, and I am dreading it. Every holiday and birthday, my son is inundated with a huge number of presents from my husband’s family. My family is much more low-key, which creates an uncomfortable situation, because the largesse of my in-laws makes my parents look cheap.
I have repeatedly asked my in-laws to restrict the number of gifts they buy my son, but they say this is “what they’re supposed to do.” My child is turning into a greedy monster, and I don’t know how to handle it. – Spoiled in Sayreville, N.J.
Dear Spoiled: You cannot change your in-laws’ behavior without their cooperation. Instead, thank them graciously for the gifts, allow your son to have one or two, and put the rest away. Keep them in a closet for later, or let your son select some to donate to a hospital or shelter. And tell your husband to back you up.
Dear Annie: I’m responding to “Puzzled in California,” who complained that she reclined her airline seat and the passenger behind her kept pushing it.
On a recent flight, the man in front of me reclined his seat fully. His head was inches from my face, and my legs were pinned under him. I have hip problems and had to shift frequently, but doing so meant jostling him. The man angrily demanded that I stop kicking his seat.
Airlines may have originally intended reclining seats for the comfort of their passengers, but in these days of drastically reduced personal space in the aircraft, they are a source of great misery. – Squished
Dear Squished: This one struck a nerve with our readers. Read on:
From N.C.: If the person behind me doesn’t want my head in his lap, he should ask for an exit row seat and not expect me to sit upright for the duration of the flight.
Tallahassee, Fla.: I am 6 feet 4 inches, and my knees touch the back of the seat in front of me. When that person reclines, it’s a painful experience. The airlines could solve the problem by adjusting the seats to recline only one short notch.
Mississippi: Airline seats are designed to recline, and the passenger in back has NO right to that space.
Seattle: I cannot understand how people think there is enough room to recline. I once had to eat my meal over another passenger’s head.
Virgin Islands: Reclining seats are a feature regular travelers rely on. If there is insufficient space, the airline should be held accountable. Otherwise, we continue to let the airlines get away with charging us a fortune to be shipped like sardines.
Montreal: If a passenger wants to recline the seat, it is by all means correct to do so. The passenger behind should then recline as well, and everyone will be happy.
California: I have nerve damage in my spinal cord that requires me to massage my legs and feet during a long flight, which I cannot do if the seat ahead is reclined.