Go ahead and coddle them
SANTA ANA, Calif. — Tina Lapple brought her camera. Only she didn’t want to seem like some crazed paparazzi, so she kept it tucked away.
“He’s like a movie star,” Lapple said. “I love him.”
She’s not a love-struck teen. She’s a mom, of a 3-year-old and a 3-month-old. The object of her devotion is Dr. Harvey Karp, pediatrician to Madonna’s kids and to a growing legion of our own, though not in the traditional sense.
Karp is the author of “Happiest Baby on the Block.” It is popular among new parents and with childbirth educators, lactation consultants and doulas.
His theories on a baby’s first three months of life and his method to help parents calm colicky or crying babies — neatly packaged in a book and DVD — have hit home with a new generation. And though his body of work isn’t the broad philosophy of care that made Spock and Brazelton household names, his following is enthusiastic and widespread.
“I did the ‘Happiest Baby on the Block,’ and she is,” said Lapple of her infant daughter, Samantha.
Karp also has come up with a curriculum for those who work with new parents or parents-to-be. And, earlier this year, he released another book, “The Happiest Toddler on the Block,” much to the relief of fans of his first book whose children are now entering that next challenging phase.
But it was his first book that made Karp, a practicing pediatrician for the past 25 years, a pied piper of sorts. He changed the way many parents think about their newborns.
He refers to a baby’s first three months as the fourth trimester. Karp believes babies are born too soon and need to live in a close imitation of the womb.
They need to be wrapped tightly, as they were before birth. They need the loud, white noise they heard in utero, and the rocking motion they felt as their mother moved. He has put these theories together into what he calls the “Five S’s,” or what many parents call their lifesaver. The easy steps almost instantly calm a crying baby, and when you’re sleep-deprived and on your last nerve, that can make a tremendous difference.
“It works,” said Kimberli Harrison of San Clemente, who is the mother to 6-month-old Michaela. “Not only did I know what to do, but I saw the results.”
Karp asserts that babies can’t be spoiled (something some of the older generation would harrumph at) and that they need to be soothed, not ignored, when crying. Parents learn why babies are so helpless at this stage and how to respond to them. They also learn about the calming reflex, and employ Karp’s Five S’s to trigger it.
“Once you have a baby, there are two jobs,” Karp said. “Feed the baby and calm the baby. If you can do those things, you feel like a million bucks. You’re kind of stopping other people on the street and giving them advice. If you have difficulties, it makes you feel like you’re not doing it right. There was really this gaping hole in parents’ skill sets.”
Karp’s “Happiest Baby” book came out two years ago and was eagerly embraced by many in the childbirth-education and lactation professions. It wasn’t so much that his technique was revolutionary. Parents over the years have used various techniques such as shushing or rocking. But Karp combined them in a way that made it simple for parents to digest.
Saddleback Memorial Hospital childbirth educators started teaching his methods almost immediately.
“What we like is it agrees with our philosophies of child development,” said Sheila Marton, a lactation consultant and registered nurse at Saddleback. “It relaxes new parents and gives them confidence. When a child is more likely to get abused is when they cry and the parent doesn’t know how to handle it. But when a parent has the ability to calm a child and the baby responds, it bonds a parent to that child, and that relationship is improved. The likelihood of abuse is less for that child than for the child whose parents have unrealistic expectations.”
Orange Coast Memorial Medical Center, Anaheim Memorial Medical Center and Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian also advocate Karp’s methods. Childbirth educator April Adams promotes Karp’s materials in her classes, and also in her job as a post-partum doula, in which she assists the mother after the birth of her child. Pediatricians are sometimes skeptical of new ideas, Adams said. Many are unfamiliar with Karp’s work.
“They’re a little inflexible,” Adams said. “They do need to know about this product to give parents another tool. They want lots of proof. We don’t have studies. We just know it’s working. And if it’s not harming the child, let’s go for it. Get as many tools in your belt as possible.”
Karp wants to empower parents of toddlers — or, as he calls them, little cavemen — to see the world as their children do.
“Their thinking level and their ability to use language is really prehistoric,” Karp said. “Evolution and child development echo each other.”
He helps parents speak and interact with their toddlers in a way that can all but eliminate temper tantrums. Toddlers are Neanderthals, and parents the ambassadors from the 21st century.
As ambassadors, we have two jobs. The first is what Karp calls the “fast food” rule, which is to acknowledge the feelings of your toddler when he is upset. The second job is to speak the language. In this case, it’s what Karp refers to as “Toddlerese”: short phrases, lots of repetition and mirroring the level of emotion.
“Within a few years, this will take over our culture,” Karp said. “All parents will be doing this because it works so well. Unlike the Five S’s, these techniques are completely novel. No one’s ever understood this before.”
Will Karp’s methods withstand the test of time or are they simply the popular flavor of the current crop of parents? Dr. Marc Lerner, a clinical professor of pediatrics at UC Irvine and president of the Orange County Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics, said Karp has been a very effective communicator to parents about how to deal with the potentially stressful issue of crying babies.
Lerner said Karp has covered both sides of the equation: He is helping families and also helping professional education.
“Will his vision be accepted?” Lerner said. “That’s to be determined.”
For Marton, Karp’s vision can’t be accepted soon enough.
“I’m hoping his philosophy does become mainstream because it supports what most people in this field would agree upon,” Marton said. “When they watch this (the ‘Happiest Baby’ DVD), a new parent feels a sense of `That feels right.”’