Green giants

Extreme makeovers are the rage these days, so it’s comforting to learn that some things are not being reformed, reshaped, reinvented or revamped. Shrek, for instance.

When everybody’s favorite animated ogre lumbered across movie screens in the nationwide opening of “Shrek 2” last week, he was still giant, grumpy and of course, green.

No one has taken a scalpel to his funnel-shaped ears. No rhinoplasty has slimmed down his mile-wide nose. No one has given him plumped-up lips a la Angelina Jolie. Nobody is plucking his brows, whittling his chin or smearing his bald head with Rogaine. And the big guy’s not doing Atkins.

After all, why mess with success?

Shrek, the lovable monster derived from the children’s book by William Steig, was made a worldwide mega-movie star in 2001 by the folks at DreamWorks SKG, and the film won the first Academy Award in the new category of best animated feature.

The eagerly awaited sequel, which brings back the voices of Mike Myers as Shrek, Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona and Eddie Murphy as Donkey, and adds John Cleese and Julie Andrews as Fiona’s royal-pain parents, is already generating positive buzz.

Its messages remain the same: Beauty is only skin-deep and exists in the eye of the beholder, and you can create your own happily-ever-after world through kindness and caring.

The first film was a marketing marvel. Product tie-ins ranged from toys to computer games to E-Z Squirt green ketchup from Heinz (alas, no longer available). Still out there is Shrek’s Swirl ice cream from Baskin-Robbins (green-colored grape sherbet and purple-colored green apple sherbet, loaded with popping candy), along with Fiona’s Fairytale (cotton-candy flavored) and Puss In Boots Chocolate Mousse.

Still hungry? There’s Pillsbury’s Shrek 2 Sugar Cookie Kit with Edible Image Decorations and Shrek 2 Waffle Sticks with Green Swamp Syrup. Betty Crocker offers Shrek Fruit Snacks, and 7-Eleven is selling Sierra Mist Shrek-A-Licious Slurpee Beverage — now there’s a mouthful.

And then there’s the new “ogre-sized” M&Ms. These are 50 percent bigger than your ordinary milk chocolate or peanut M&Ms, and ready to capitalize on the new wave of Shrekmania.

And yes, the oversized M&Ms are available in Shrek green, as well as dark red, beige, brown and tan.

Shrek green. Now there’s a color that’s familiar, yet a little hard to define. Not quite acid green, not exactly poison green, yet uncomfortably reminiscent of baby-poop green or the hue of other bodily excretions. Definitely in the chartreuse family, with hints of green apple, it’s a robust, fluorescent green that shouts out “Alien!” “Movie Monster!” “Ogre!”

There’s a reason that Shrek’s skin looks so strikingly green on screen. Computer animation technology is extremely sophisticated, and several new state-of-the-art tools — the bounce shader and subsurface scattering — light the animated characters in a more realistic way and give their skin a natural glow from within. In Shrek’s case, that’s a green glow.

Apparently, there is something in the human psyche that thinks it’s easy being green if you’re a fairy tale, comic book or movie character, and while green usually signals something alien and alarming, some friendly creatures are green as well.

“ The Wicked Witch Of The West: Her creepy greenish skin added an air of menace to Margaret Hamilton’s already scary portrayal in the “The Wizard of Oz.” Now the witch is back, in the Broadway musical “Wicked,” based on the book by Gregory Maguire that explores her back story. The musical was nominated for 10 Tony awards this week.

“ The Hulk: Big and strong like Shrek, but not nearly as nice. Would you be, if your dad subjected you to a radiation accident that turned you into an over-muscled, under-restrained bright green freak? We didn’t think so!

“ Gollum: This slightly greenish, definitely mean-ish hobbit, once known as Smeagol, murdered his best friend to obtain the One Ring — his “preciousssss” — thereby setting in motion J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic trilogy, “The Lord of the Rings.”

“ Jolly Green Giant: Deep-green denizen of “the Valley,” he first appeared as an advertising icon in 1928 on cans of “great big tender peas” packed by the Minnesota Valley Canning Co. By 1950, the firm became the Green Giant Co. and later merged with Pillsbury. But we’ve never figured out why wearing a toga made of green leaves and pushing veggies would make anyone so jolly.

“ The Green Monster: As any Red Sox fan knows all too well, scary things sometimes happen in Fenway Park. The left-field wall got the nickname in 1947 when it was painted green to cover the advertisements plastered on it. Now there are coveted seats and standing-room spaces atop the wall, where once a 23-foot-high screen kept balls from bombarding Landsdown Street.

“ Kermit the Frog: OK, he is not a monster. He is not scary or mean or a shill for frozen peas. He’s just a beloved Muppet, and he’s about as green as a character can get. And if he’s good enough for Miss Piggy, he’s good enough for us. Kermit knows the heartbreak of being different — it isn’t easy, he sings — but he also knows that “green’s the color of Spring and green can be cool and friendly-like.” Shrek couldn’t have said it better himself.