Call interviewer instead of stewing over it

Dear Annie: I have worked for 23 years doing building maintenance. Three years ago, I decided it was time for a change. I still have a job, so I can take my time and be selective about sending out my resume.

Recently, I was called in for an interview. Since I had downloaded the application off the Internet, I redid it so it would look nice. I wanted to show my attention to detail. The interviewer was impressed that I had taken the time to edit the application and indicated that the interview went smashingly well. I e-mailed the interviewer, thanking her.

That was two weeks ago. I haven’t heard a word since, and the position opens up in three days. I think if an employer asks me to spend my time preparing a resume, downloading and filling out their application, dressing up and driving an hour to an interview, the least they could do is send me a note saying they hired someone else.

To say I’m disappointed is a huge understatement. What’s worse, I’ve had four interviews that went the same way. Why can’t a company give me five minutes and a stamp to say I didn’t get the job? Even an e-mail or a phone call would have been OK. This is so discouraging, I’m ready to give up. — Disappointed in Seattle

Dear Seattle: Too many companies do not feel the need to let an applicant know he didn’t get the job, but you are right, they absolutely should send a note indicating that the position has been filled. It often helps to follow up the initial interview with a phone call four to five days later and ask if a decision has been made. It shows you are interested and keeps you in their thoughts.

Instead of stewing over it, call the interviewer and ask her what happened. You have nothing to lose, and you might hear some useful information.

Dear Annie: My fiance and I picked our wedding date long before we were officially engaged (18 months ago). Everyone knew. Last month, my cousin picked the exact same day. I was surprised but have not spoken to her about it, nor will I.

Of course, many friends and family members have said it was quite rude on her part to pick the same day, regardless of her excuse that it was “the only day available.”

What is the proper protocol in this situation? Our extended family knows I picked the date first. Should the family try to attend both, leaving one of the receptions early?

I am happy for my cousin and will choose not to be upset over this, but I have to admit I am hurt. What is your opinion? — Baffled Bride-to-Be

Dear Bride: Kudos to you for choosing not to be angry with your cousin. Knowing you had selected this date, she should have made every effort to find a different one. Since she didn’t, however, it is up to the guests to decide how they wish to divide their time. We recommend getting those invitations out soon.

Dear Annie: I have an older sister with whom I worked for six years cleaning homes and churches. Last year, I found out my sister had kept part of my pay from me from work we did equally at a neighborhood church. I spoke to the pastor, and he took the matter to the board. They said they paid my sister the full amount and it was up to her to pay me. She took $200 for the month. I got $70. How fair is that?

Of course, I quit working with her after we had a heated discussion. What do you think of this? — Puzzled in Missouri

Dear Puzzled: Barring some sort of tax discrepancy, we think your sister took advantage of you. Unless you want to drag her into small claims court, consider it a lesson learned the hard way.