Living with the pain

An accidental shooting separated them nearly four years ago. A forgiving phone call recently brought them together. Now, Tara LaCelle-Miller and the man who accidentally shot her while she was sleeping in her Post Falls apartment are building a friendship.

“I was nervous, but I knew I needed to do it,” said Miller, 24. “It was time.”

Miller wanted to see past Shatana Pole’s emotionless face in the courtroom.

Pole, a soft-spoken redhead, wanted a chance to sympathize with Miller’s position.

And after about three years of court wrangling and a legal damper on direct contact, they’re both thankful for open conversation and learning each other’s story.

The shooting happened four years ago Thursday. Pole, 26, was cleaning a .357 revolver after a night of drinking when he accidentally fired the weapon. A bullet passed through the apartment wall and hit Miller, who was sleeping next door. Left paralyzed, she spent the next two months in the hospital and rehabilitation, and has required a wheelchair since. Miller, who has married since the accident, plans to take up rehabilitation again next week.

“I wanted to talk to Shatana for a long time,” Miller said. “I was sick of seeing him in the courtroom and not knowing what was going on in his head.”

Last summer, Miller called Pole at Dockside, where he works as a manager, and arranged a meeting. They talked for three hours.

“I was shocked to hear what she had to go through. It was a very hard, hard day. But it was good in other ways. It was one of the happiest days of my life,” he said.

They’ve since tried to meet up at least once a month to build their friendship in light of the circumstances that brought them together. For both, July 8 has become a day of reflection and family support.

“It was a huge, life-changing day for both of us,” said Miller.

While Miller was in the media spotlight directly after the event, Pole withdrew from society. He said police initially told him he’d killed someone that morning. Later, after Miller began to stabilize from critical condition, he learned that she’d survived. Pole feared media coverage could have misconstrued anything he would say. He kept silent in and out of the courtroom.

“For three or four months, I just sat in my house. I couldn’t function,” he said. “And when I did, it was just when going to work.”

He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, aggravated battery and unlawful discharge of a firearm. However, those charges required intent, which couldn’t be proven. Pole had no previous criminal history and was convicted of not cooperating with police. He was sentenced to six months in jail.

About 10 months after making contact with Pole, Miller sent a letter to the prosecuting attorney to drop all charges. The charges were dropped May 10.

Pole said she had multiple reasons for asking that the charges be dropped, the biggest being a dead-end court battle that both thought would be better settled one-on-one.

“I always felt if I were sitting in jail or prison, I would never be able to do anything for her,” he said.

Miller agreed, saying jail time also could turn him into a hardened criminal.

Now that the courtroom dates are behind them, both are looking ahead to building a friendship and an understanding of their new roles in each other’s lives. Pole said he’s sorry for causing so much shock in the community, and Miller said she’s thankful for all the community’s support for the last four years.

“I don’t see it as the final chapter,” Pole said. “It’s more the end of one thing and beginning of another. It’s finally the end of legality and now I can find out how I can help her.”

Pole said that when people make mistakes they need to learn from them. But he wishes he could have learned this lesson any other way; “I would have much rather have the bullet come into me than to her, but there’s nothing you can do.”

Miller said she’s still the same person she was before she was shot, but her life has changed.

She takes 28 pills a day for muscle pain and spasms, and said the hardest part is adapting to needing a wheelchair after being able-bodied. She misses walks downtown with her husband, Kyle, and is paring down her morning dressing routine, which takes 25 minutes each day.

She and Kyle attempted to have a child last year, but it miscarried after about eight weeks. They plan to try again soon.

Miller admits sometimes she’s mad at Pole, usually stemming from the routine inconveniences, while other days she feels for him. She said Pole “isn’t a monster,” he just made a mistake.

Pole said his guilt over the event is nothing compared to Miller’s suffering, and the weight on his shoulders will remain. “I’m going to have to live with that every day for the rest of my life,” he said.

Now, they want to work together to spread a message in area schools about gun safety and the negative effects of alcohol.

The public speaking agenda may take some time to organize while they arrange things around work schedules and boost their confidence in public speaking. But both are excited to get the word out.

“If we can just touch one kid, or 10 kids, it would be worthwhile,” said Pole.