Summer lovin’

Shimmering lake views, the scent of pine smoke and the sweet taste of huckleberries apparently cast a spell over young couples at Priest Lake. Teri Hill, one of the owners of Hill’s Resort, has watched countless young men and women pair off over the years. She tells the tale of a former Hill’s waitress who married a man she met at the lake, and their son who grew up to marry a Hill’s waitress of his own. “There’s a million of those,” Hill says. “It goes generation to generation.”

Now as summer winds to a close, we pause to pay tribute to the summer romances of the past and present. Our readers chimed in to share their tales, some from as long as 50 years ago, others from just last summer. We print a selection of these stories today.

They wrote of relationships that lasted just one shining evening to an entire lifetime, of dogs more loyal than men, of twists of fate that left them happily mated or gleefully free.

In these stories the sharper emotions have worn away, leaving memories gleaming with sweetness or humor. For some, just a waft of Coppertone lotion or Old Spice aftershave can bring them back.

Memories of a long-ago romance may be poignant simply because they’re idealized, says Bert Powell, a Spokane psychotherapist and child development researcher. After all, we base the early phase of our relationships on an idyllic illusion of sameness and lack of conflict.

But Powell doesn’t mock the notion of romance.

“It’s an important part of a relationship,” he says. “It’s not a silly part.”

“It’s a phase,” he says. “The work of a relationship begins when you discover you’re different.”

That can also be the moment the entire relationship ends. Maureen Sheridan, director of Gonzaga University’s Counseling and Career Assessment Center, mostly sees the emotional wreckage in the fall.

“Because they’re so young, it’s not like a treasured memory,” she says. “It’s like the end of the world, and they (think they) have to get on Prozac immediately.”

She works with students to help them express the pain of a breakup, then put the experience in perspective.

Summer relationships can be a way to learn important skills that lead to more satisfying adult partnerships, she said. It’s a chance to get to know people and begin the process of finding out if their interests and values match.

“The choice of partner is one of the most important decisions you make in your life,” Powell points out.

Ultimately, the goal should be to develop a relationship where both partners can count on each other for support, have a secure connection, negotiate differences and be an individual, Powell says.

“People who have that, boy, that is such a gift,” he says.

Sheridan’s best advice, should a student ever request it: Go slow, set limits on alcohol consumption and don’t get carried away with romantic expectations that can’t be met.

Unfortunately, she says, many young women still follow a Cinderella-Prince Charming internal script, while young men reach the end of their teen years with the message that it’s important to focus on school and avoid making a commitment.

Summer romance, that classic coming-of-age tale, figures prominently in an inevitable series of experiences young people must encounter on their way to becoming adults. It’s the theme of countless films and pop songs.

And while it can bring deep pain, it’s also bound up with hope and joy.

“Mostly it’s just that excitement of feeling alive,” Sheridan says.

She recommends that students learn to think their way into experiences that will be positive for them. She asks students, “Are you a drinker? No? Then why go to a bar?”

Instead, students should think about activities they truly love. They can sign up for lessons to go backpacking, sailing or swimming and meet people who share their interests.

That, says Teri Hill, seems to be the secret to those long-lasting Priest Lake romances. Shared lake adventures, whether it’s swimming off the dock a generation ago or going wakeboarding now, bring couples together.

“What more fun is it to go out on a boat, go to an island, go swimming, have a bonfire, and tell your parents, ‘Oh, we’re just going out to look at the stars’? ” she asked.

After teen summers together at Priest, couples may break up or simply head in different directions for school. But for some of the lucky ones, says Hill, “There’s still a little gleam when they come back together. If they’re clever enough to live up here and have a good time, they often have the same thoughts in mind.”