Mary Glidden lived a full life

“Woman! Clean that up,” a patient snapped at Mary Glidden after spitting into a tissue and throwing it on the hospital floor.

The Middle Eastern man, injured during Desert Storm, didn’t know he was barking orders at a major in the U.S. Army Reserve. He saw Glidden’s blond hair, petite frame and pretty face and assumed he could intimidate her from his hospital bed in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

But a pushover Mary Glidden was not. Glidden had supervised the construction of the hospital in which the patient was recovering. She had started a successful company back home in Spokane. And she had balanced her duties as mother, soldier, nurse and American with pride, skill and courage.

Mary’s son, Jeff Glidden, retold that slice of his mother’s life a month after she lost a battle with lung cancer. Mary Glidden, who never smoked, was 62 when she died June 30.

Mary was born in Grangeville, Idaho. Her father worked in logging camps, so the family moved from small town to small town before pausing in Clarkston, where she graduated from high school.

She married her first husband, a U.S. Army soldier, after graduating and followed him to Texas. The couple had four children: Jeff and Dennis Glidden, Karin (Glidden) Walker, and Lee, who died at birth.

Mary made her way back to Clarkston and then to Spokane by 1970. She divorced and raised the children alone while working full time in health care and putting herself through nursing school.

“She had her hands full, but that’s when she taught us to be very independent,” Jeff said. “She’d call us (from work or school) and tell us how to make a roast.”

Karin said her mother taught them that nothing’s ever handed to you — you have to earn it.

Mary married and divorced again. She worked at various places, including Sacred Heart Medical Center and Spokane County Juvenile Detention Center, before launching her own company in 1987.

She had been doing medical case management and related work for a company in Spokane. When Mary quit, her clients followed her, and Medical Rehabilitation Consultants was born. Within three years, her business employed 20 people.

Mary ran the company and spoke at industry conferences around the country until her death.

“She was just starting to get recognized nationally for the work she was doing,” said Jeff, who, along with Dennis, works for the business.

Mary joined the Army Reserve in 1975, following in the footsteps of her father, brothers and cousins. Two of her children and other relatives joined the military after being inspired by her service. She retired as a lieutenant colonel last year.

Mary liked the structure of the Army Reserve. She loved the United States, and she “understood the large picture when it came to military actions,” Jeff said. When people didn’t agree with Desert Storm, she’d say, “It’s because you didn’t know the good we were doing,” he said.

Mary had many other loves. Gardening. Travel. Good wine. And shopping all year for the perfect Christmas gifts for family and employees.

She spent the last 14 years of her life with fiance Ken Kaiyala.

Ken wrote in an e-mail message that the pair “acted like a couple of goofy teenagers.” He told a story about them getting soaked on a ride at Disneyland and shared his habit of hitting the imaginary brake on the passenger side of the car when Mary drove too fast.

“She drove like she lived, with wild abandon,” Ken wrote.

A picture taken of the two holding hands, walking with their backs to the camera at a wedding, quietly illustrates the love between them.

Ken wrote that Mary’s grandsons were “the real love of her life,” though.

“Her pride was her work, but her joy was her grandkids,” Karin said.

Mary kept a running total of the work the boys did around her Liberty Lake home and would reward them with ski trips to Schweitzer and Mount Spokane in the winter. She attended every T-ball game, every wrestling match and every music recital. Mary worked hard to afford a house on the lake so the children would have a place to play.

Remodeling work on the home is still half done. Kitchen cabinets are missing their doors. The stairs are uncovered. It’s a reminder that Mary’s life was cut short and that the woman who loved projects had work left to do.

Mary had a tumor removed two years ago, but she recovered and seven months, ago her scans for cancer were clear.

“When it came back, it came back very fast,” Jeff said.

She was on a trip to Hawaii with her oldest grandson — a reward she planned to give all her grandchildren after they graduated from high school — when her health plunged.

Mary’s final days were spent at home. The afternoon she died was sunny, and the boys were playing outside on the lawn. Karin moved her mother’s bed and opened a window so she could see the lake and hear her grandsons’ laughter.

“She knew they were there,” Karin said. “She wanted everyone to be together and happy.”