‘Once A Pervert Always A Pervert’
Dear Ann Landers: I divorced my husband after I learned he exposed himself to my 10-year-old daughter. He was arrested, but I dropped the charges when “Vern” begged me to take him back, saying he had changed. He promised to be a good father to our children. I foolishly let him back into my life, but three years later, he tried to French-kiss that same daughter, who was then a teenager. Vern cried, begged and took an oath that he would never do it again. I believed him, always blaming drugs and alcohol for his rotten behavior. Again, I took him back.
That was six years ago. Last year, Vern heard that my daughter and I had had a big falling out. Actually, it was a minor dust-up. He went to my daughter’s house and made some lecherous suggestions. He told her if they had sex, it would be a good way to get even with me. She asked him to leave. I was horrified when I found out.
During the time we were divorced, Vern never paid child support, and I recently discovered that he has taken all the cash value from our children’s insurance policies. Is there any way to “cure” Vern of his crooked ways? According to the policeman who took my daughter’s statement years ago, there is no help for him. He said, “Once a pervert, always a pervert.” What do you think, Ann? - Sick at Heart in Texas
Dear Heart in Texas: That policeman was right. It is extremely difficult (if not impossible) to straighten out a pervert. It seems Vern is not only kinky but a bit of a crook. I assume (and hope) that you are no longer married to this guy. If I were you, I would not let him within a mile of your family.
Dear Ann Landers: I’m a cemetery buff and spend many hours every week trudging through the cemeteries of Los Angeles County is search of odd names.
During my many treks, I have run across scores of off-beat names, including: Early Byrd, Watts D. Matter, Skinny Lasagna, Elda Berry and Anna Lovely Day.
With all due respect to the deceased, I smile when I run across amusing names on grave markers and wonder if the people who had to live with those names enjoyed them or felt cursed. It’s often said that a person is never dead till he or she is forgotten, so a lot of these folks with strange names are destined to live forever. - R.H. in Los Angeles
Dear R.H.: Your letter reminded me of a well-known family in Houston, whose name was Hogg. They named their daughter Ima. This is no joke. It actually happened. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction. And funnier, too.
Dear Ann Landers: I hope you have room for another letter about sleep deprivation and medical residents. My daughter graduated from medical school and is now an intern struggling under awful conditions. It’s the same stupid conception of “teaching” that I experienced when I was a student 50 years ago.
Why in God’s name can’t those who are in charge of physician training recognize the fallacy in this outmoded approach to developing self-confidence and self-reliance? It’s the same adolescent attitude of fraternity initiations, “I had to suffer, and I survived. Now it’s your turn.” - Disgusted Dora in Tulsa
Dear Dora: I have heard from established physicians as well as parents and spouses of doctors. Most made the point that sleep-deprived residents can be a serious hazard to the health of patients and said the “system” must be fixed. I’m happy to report that the state of New York is leading the way to end this abuse.