Denny’s Oreo Cookie Shake A Winner

This week I reached out for an Oreo Cookie Shake at Denny’s.

Actually, I originally planned to review the Moons Over My Hammy Sandwich because it sounds a lot funnier. I normally enjoy food that doubles as a pun. (Actually, it’s two-thirds of a pun - a “p.u.”)

But then I saw the Oreo Shake sign in the window and did a 180, which is about my current weight … in certain fun-house mirrors.

Here’s the blueprint: Put three scoops of vanilla ice cream, a handful of Oreo cookies and a frosty cold glass of milk in an old-fashioned metal milkshake container. Give it two minutes of button 7 on the Waring blender, occasionally zapping the pulse button. Serve with a dollop of whipped cream and an Oreo cookie on top.

Total calories: 850. Fat grams: 38. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $2.79.

Unlike most fast-food joints, Denny’s is not slave to a behemoth stainless steel shake machine. Those machines make wretched shakes. They’re all whipped-up air. That’s why you burp so much after you drink one.

Next time you buy a shake at McDonald’s or Burger King, put it in the refrigerator for a couple of hours and see what happens. It flattens out to practically nothing.

Denny’s makes each shake separately. Like snowflakes, no two Denny’s shakes are alike. Plus, you can customize them to your heart attack’s delight.

For example, I ordered my shake with skim milk, which cuts down the calories but renders the drink a watery and runny mess. I figure if you can drink a milkshake with a straw, it ain’t a milkshake. From now on, I go with the high-test, whole milk.

As I pulled away from the restaurant, I noticed the waitress had rested three Oreos on top. That’s two over the limit. I immediately misinterpreted this as a romantic flirtation, despite the “Joey” tattooed on her left arm.

Hey, for extra Oreos, I’ll put up with her two-timing me.

Gee, I hope Joey’s not a biker.

Really, I’m just praying his last name isn’t Buttafuoco.

The Oreo Cookie Shake is a slam-dunk winner for Denny’s. Who doesn’t like Oreos? I’ll bet Kate Moss pounds them down between catwalks. And she looks like she doesn’t like anything that comes close to food.

Oreos have been America’s favorite cookie since they were introduced in 1912. In all, we’ve eaten more than 345 billion Oreos.

I’ve personally moved that clicker by a couple of thousand. I eat them the tried-and-true way. I crack ‘em open, lick the creamy filling and mush the top and bottom back together.

In the old days, I dunked them in milk. Now I eat them dry and slug them back with Diet Pepsi.

Fun facts to know and tell, but not with your mouth full:

The Oreo was originally called a biscuit, because that’s what the English call cookies. They have a different word for practically everything. In 1974, Nabisco officially changed the name to Oreo Chocolate Sandwich Cookies.

Oreos are 29 percent cream filling and 71 percent cookie. They are precisely 1-3/4 inches across and take 90 minutes to bake. Each cookie has 90 ridges along its outer edge.

Oreos are so popular that their spinoff, the Double Stuf Oreo - with twice the good stuff in the middle - is the fifth most popular cookie in America.

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