Are America’s Most Wanted Preschoolers?
It’s perhaps not the scariest category of crime.
But we’re told preschoolers stealing toys from one another’s homes/yards is fairly common. And one Spokane mother with whom we spoke wonders why more parents don’t notice or care when little Brendan or Brittany mysteriously appear to have acquired some great new stuff.
Spokane-style flirting: Kera Withers guessed that it might mean “Bumper stickers and naked-lady mud flaps.” But she doubted that this approach would prove effective.
Our own guess is that the Spokane area’s No. 1 special flirting tactic involves volunteering to remove ticks from members of the opposite sex.
“Oh, that one’s pretty well dug-in. I’m afraid this might sting a little.”
“Go ahead. I’m pretty brave.”
“And you have a really great smile. Uh, sorry. I’ll try to get back on task.”
“It’s OK. Take all the time you want. I’m in your hands.”
“Say, would you like a cup of Taster’s Choice before I operate?”
“Hahahahaha. No. Just do me.”
Next question: A friend was driving some children to a Spokane bowling alley for a birthday party. He didn’t know all of them. So he engaged a few of the unfamiliar kids in conversation. When he asked one little girl if her mother worked outside the home, she surprised him. “She’s an illegal alien,” the child answered matter-of-factly. “So she’s not supposed to work.”
Our friend changed the subject.
Luring more warm bodies: “I’m not sure about the University of Idaho, but the way EWU could attract more students would be to start calling itself ‘E Triple U,’ thus saving a syllable,” wrote David Buxton. “I think today’s efficiency-conscious students would find this very appealing.”
Exchange overheard at the Fairchild A.F.B. air show Sunday:
Woman who looked about 30: “So you voted for Barry Goldwater for president?”
Man who might have been in his 60s: “Yes.”
Woman: “Did he win?”
Plea for bran-like behavior: Three callers suggested that our list of adjectives from which readers were to choose one to describe Spokane was inadequate. Why? Because it didn’t include “constipated.”
Today’s Slice question: If you suddenly found yourself captain of a heavily-armed battleship on one of North Idaho’s big lakes, how would you wield your power?
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. If it weren’t for Fairchild Air Force Base, out-of-state license-plate spotting would be less interesting hereabouts.