Cheap Seats

Who’s sorry now?

Keith Olbermann certainly took his ESPN suspension hard. Benched for two weeks for making an unauthorized appearance on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” to plug a book he’s written with ESPN coanchor Dan Patrick, Olbermann stayed mum through the layoff.

But he did call Daily Show host and former ESPN anchor Craig Kilborn.

“I’m getting two weeks off with pay. Not bad, huh?” Olbermann said. “Dan wants to know when he can go on your show.”

But first they called Gheorge Muresan

Two men accused of stealing custom-made golf clubs from noted NBA stiff Shawn Bradley have been charged with theft - after they attempted to sell the clubs back to Bradley’s brother in-law.

Salt Lake County sheriff’s Lt. Larry Marx said the men likely had no idea they were stealing from Bradley when they allegedly broke into a trailer parked outside some condos in Salt lake City. But after spotting Bradley’s name on a golf bag, they attempted to capitalize on the theft.

A man contacted Bradley’s financial manager and brother-in-law, Shane Evertsen, saying he had purchased Bradley’s property for $350 at a garage sale. He asked for $1,000 to return the items.

“He said, ‘No cops. We just want to help Shawn,”’ said Evertsen. “I figured these guys weren’t out here for a good samaritan cause.”

Hey, we’d consider anything that would get Bradley playing more golf and less basketball a good turn.

The Anaheim fire drill

There’s managing and there’s overmanaging - and Anaheim’s Terry Collins pushed the envelope in a recent win over Boston. With two out in the ninth, Darren Bragg on first base and Mike James pitching for the Angels, Collins - who managed at Houston last year - went to his bullpen.

For a catcher.

Concerned Bragg might steal second, Collins sent in Jorge Fabregas, moved catcher Jim Leyritz to first base and moved first baseman Jim Edmonds to center field. James watched the commotion, then struck out Troy O’Leary to end the game.

“It looked like we were going into our ‘nickel’ defense,” James said. “I didn’t know what that was all about.”

It’s about Collins suffering from double-switch withdrawal.

Another disk jockey with a tape recorder

In a recent conference call, someone from an Indiana radio station asked race driver Paul Tracy: “As a professional athlete, I know when you guys drive around a track there are a lot of G-forces pulling. Have you ever suffered from taco-neck syndrome?”

A rose by any other … nah

Surely you’ve heard by now that Dennis Rodman, in his latest hardback swill, has threatened to change his name to “Orgasm.” Offered Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Sun-Times: “At least we can look forward to the announcers saying, ‘Look at how he faked Orgasm with that move!”’ As long as we don’t have to put up with multiple Orgasms.

The last word …

“His upper body is built like Mr. Olympia and his lower body is built like Kathie Lee Gifford.”

- Charles Barkley, on Rockets teammate Kevin Willis

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo