The Slice We’ve Stood In Silence Long Enough

We’re coming out of the closet.

Yes, we have been afraid to admit this until now. But here goes.

In disputes involving parking meter violations in downtown Spokane, we almost always side with the Parking Meter Patrol.

Memorable tantrums, Part 1: “My lovely daughter threw a tantrum of unbridled proportions in the skywalk just outside Nordstrom’s when she was 3,” wrote Steve McKenzie.

The little girl, Morreyah, wanted an $85 Beauty & the Beast set. Dad’s counteroffer involved going for a figurine that cost about $1.59.

“Seeing no other alternative, she threw herself to the ground and began convulsing and shrieking…I calmly picked her up - arms and legs flailing, eardrum-shattering shrieks of agony resounding from this tiny little creature - and flung her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes…As I carried my little writhing burden, I noticed most of the gentlemanly men I passed gave me scowling looks while every woman’s gaze seemed to have 100 years of compassion behind it.”

Here’s another one. “When he was 2, my son had a major meltdown in a Nordstrom’s Cafe in Seattle,” wrote Rebecca Dalpay. “I was a week overdue with my second child…Screaming and jumping up and down, he ran out of the cafe and flung a cup of soda all over a suede-shoe display…Two older women stopped to tell me I was the worst mother that they had ever seen. I collected our things and pulled my son outside. He then took off all clothing except his diaper and, still screaming, raced off to the snowy parking lot. On the way, he tripped me and I fell stomach-first and cut my leg open.”

The worst times to oversleep: “I can always wake up at a desired time without an alarm unless I really have to be somewhere.” - Tricia Davis

Marlene Getz thinks the IRS needs different music for phone callers on hold: “I really don’t think that ‘The Nutcracker Suite’ is appropriate,” she said. “Or maybe it is.”

John Gardner wonders: How many married couples in the Spokane area are comprised of two left-handers?

Spokane is a seething caldron of…: “Bad air and bored single people,” said Terri Hollingworth.

Four readers said “mediocrity.”

One said “class envy.”

Today’s Slice question (for teens): What’s the key difference between “hanging out” and “a date”?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Post Falls chiropractor Jim Vancho has two Christmas poinsettias in his office still in full bloom.