Good Things Come To Those Who Wait
The romance and marriage of Dan Hieronymus and Jessica Lotze, Spokane’s first black Lilac queen, wasn’t made for television.
Their courtship, by Hollyweird standards, was blah. No jealousy triggered by a former flame. No cheating on each other. No violence. No lying. No dissing parents. No steamy bedroom scene or lingering kisses to pique a prurient producer’s interest.
In fact, the Hieronymuses tossed out today’s Book of (so-called) Love and embraced the time-honored notion that they should be pure when they approached the altar. Before they met, each had taken a vow of chastity until wedlock - like a growing number of Inland Northwest youngsters.
The pledges made by the Hieronymuses were rooted in their faith in God, a faith they wanted to share with a future mate. Others are abstaining for health, intellectual and emotional reasons.
Whatever the reason, each vow exposes the lies that young people are enslaved by their hormones, that they can’t wait, that everyone is doing IT.
In an In Life feature Sunday, Jessica Hieronymus told of the promise she had made at age 15 at a 1990 citywide abstinence convention. She used to wear a chastity ring as a reminder of that promise and was taunted for her decision. Classmates called her “the lonely-only.”
Her commitment to remain a virgin, however, doesn’t mean she didn’t have fun. Said Jessica: “I still did things with groups of people - just never alone with someone of the opposite sex. I didn’t want to give away pieces of my heart.”
Enter Mr. Right, Dan Hieronymus, a young man who had made a similar pledge after years of fruitless dating. He was tired of the dating scene, tired of hurting women and wanted to lead the type of life he’d want his future children to live. Jessica’s beauty and chastity ring attracted him - as did her respect for her parents.
Dan didn’t mope and curse - as some of us would have done - when Jessica’s father, the Rev. Craig Lotze, refused to give him permission to date his daughter. Rather, he viewed the denial positively. He figured she would respect and honor her future mate as she respected and honored her father. Few of us have that kind of wisdom.
And restraint.
Dan and Jessica continued to resist temptation 10 months later when Lotze changed his mind about his future son-in-law. The couple concentrated on their friendship first. They made rules for their courtship. They didn’t go out alone. They didn’t kiss.
In other words, they proved their love for each other by not having sexual relations - until their wedding night.
May their kind increase.
, DataTimes The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria/For the editorial board